Dear Homeschooling Friends,

I drove home today from my jazz violin lesson keenly aware that it is summer. How beating the heat. So humid and hot that at 1am last night it was 80 degrees still, the man on the radio said. My fingers had slipped over the sleek black fingerboard of my violin in the humidity. My car air conditioner panted warm breath in my face while I listened to the heat and the radio, the sticking of my tires on the baking cement and National Public Radio.

As the waters still drift away.
I look beyond as colors fade.
Into the whiteness I stare.
Watching the strange World unknown.
Surrounded by eerie light.
Into the fields I cast my gaze
pondering where I am, where it ends.
My breath is withheld from me as I
look into this morning fog.

I'm one of the many lucky persons in this world who has been blessed with siblings. But, sometimes I don't take this as a blessing, but as a burden. After all, who enjoys having little sisters read your journal, telling boys that you have a crush on them, or even worse, well, there isn't too much worse than that now that I think of it. My home is an emotion run warehouse of females. Five siblings - all sisters - I'm the oldest. Some days I would easily trade all four space-invading girls for, umm, nothing! I'll give four sisters, ages 5-14 for free! What a deal!

There I sat in the ER shivering, with a face that everyone told me made me look "like a prize fighter," and an IV in my arm. As I sat there, totally miserable, I wondered how I had gotten myself into this mess. It all started in science class that afternoon. We took a test, and then we got ready to collect the materials necessary for an experiment. This involved going to a small pond on my teacher's property to collect some pond water. To get to the pond, we had to cross a strip of trees and a couple fields. And the trouble started there.

(written 2 years ago)

This poem was inspired by Langston Hughes. I like his simple and sweet way of writing so I tried it out myself. Here is the result.

Darkness

Darkness; it’s green and at times gray as brain
other times black as pupils.
It’s never too true to be safe.
Yet it can be trusting. If tried.
Consuming is it’s mode and code of honor.
Neutralizing all is it’s content and purpose.
It has no preference and so just hangs making it all the more a caution and danger.

Before you begin reading, I thought you should know that you may not understand what I'm writing about until the last sentence. It's suppoesed to be that way!

The roses dialate in my eyes
doubt as thick as peanut butter
which i spread on the backside of time
wondering which knife to lick.

The other girls pass by and stare
I'm still the odd-job with the short nails
my beauty left with my long hair
and so i wonder why

On the other side of time
where the happy people live
they drip their toast with caviar
and expect us to come in

Don't get me wrong. I love being home schooled. I will never ever ever ever go to high school. The idea doesn't even tempt me in the slightest. Hearing my schooled friends talking about the tons of homework and the predujice they get if they don't wear the clothes that are in style makes me feel so sad for them. Because high school is nothing like real life and here I am already living in the real world.

Last-minute tips:
you know you want it.
Go for it.
Walking through the mass of faces and dripping bodies,
each countenance more confident
and assured than you feel,
but you hope you appear the same.
One heat before your race.
The girl ahead of you takes
her mark.
Your heart jumps when you think
of how much you want this,
to swim this,
to win this, and you close
your eyes and try to think of
something else.
She's at her turn.
You press your goggles tightly
into your eyes,