I gazed upon the sky above
Lost in thoughts of life and love
I missed the moon in darkness’ depths
But saw a shooting star instead
I sat, waiting for moon’s face to appear
But alas no friend to me was near
And yet the stars still smiled down
Like company, the silence crowned
And darkness covered me like a mask
Covering me like the smile I daily taxed
While still no moon made the quiet speak
My eyes overflowed and flooded my cheeks
Now I ponder and wonder why
A man thinks best to take his life
Thinks to end his conscience' strife
His hopeless fingers grip the knife
There is no love to make him thrive
It hurts to breath; to be alive
He's lost his faith, he's lost his drive
It is not worth the pain to strive
It's become a matter of time
Because of this he starts the climb
From conscience to justify crime
But then he hears a quiet rhyme
The path once so bright
Now hidden from sight
Is not to be seen
Behind its own screen
I crave the white light
Luminescent sight
I reach out my hand
"Right now!" I demand
And then I fall down
I scrape myself brown
And trust I do not
This can't be my lot
This dreary old way
Upon which I lay
Not fit for my feet
No, not even meet
I thought myself good
But there as I stood
I fell down again
Broken in my pain
I cried out in fear
"Lord why am I here?!"
***I ADDED A TON TO THIS. IT'S ABOUT TWICE AS LONG AS IT WAS BEFORE. PLEASE CRITIQUE***
"Hello."
"Oh. Hi. You look familiar...have we met before?"
"I don't think so. I've seen you around at this conference before. At least I'm pretty sure I have."
She tilted her head to one side.
"Ohhh that must be it. I've been here every year since they started this conference back in 2012."
"Cool! So have I. My name is Mark. Mark Barton."
He shook her hand.
"Melissa Grey. Nice to meet you!"
Smiles.
Had God created me for pain? He had raised me up and blessed me that I might fall further. Instead of being bruised, I was broken.
"It would have been better if I had not been born!" I cried to God, "Why did You give me a sister, Lord? To break my heart with? And why did You make me prosper so young? To agitate me with? And why oh why did you bring Sarah into my life? To crush my soul with! God, Your ways are cruel against man.
God is always in control,
Watching faithfully over every soul;
Joyfully on our way we should roll.
Most of the time the rocks are rough,
That means our feet should really be tough;
Calloused, used to trouble, sure enough.
Calloused doesn't mean uncaring,
We should always be bewaring;
With temptations our paths are sharing.
For easy paths we should not lust,
Lessons God teaches us are just;
In bad and good trust Him we must.
I: Trust
Oh God! Oh God!
I trust in You
Oh God! Oh God!
I know You will be true
but God
why must it be so hard
why must it hurt so much
to reach joy and peace
and why must my heart be strengthened
by bending and by breaking
Oh God you are my God
a bulwark never failing
I: Heartbreaks
Lord guard my heart
from me
for many of my heartbreaks
are self-imposed
I'm too temperamental
judgemental
comparing myself
to all whom I see
I form attachments too quickly
pondering love too soon
just to watch
my quick-built castles
fall to dust
I too often view myself
in pure black and white
I too often judge others the same
I'm lost and I'm crying
out for relief
Lord guard my heart
from me
At the age of sixteen, Anita stayed with her aunt and uncle the day before Easter luncheon to help scour down the house before the rest of the family arrived. After half a day of housework, her cousin grabbed her shoulders and asked her to please stop singing or I’ll start calling you Princess again.