If Middle-Earth Entered the 21st Century…
· Frodo would sue the Counsel of Elrond for pain, suffering, and failure to disclose information.
· Tom Bombadil would be institutionalized or become a cult leader.
· Beorn the shape-changer would become a spokesman for human-ursine relations.
· Departed elves would replace “dead white males” as objects of blame.
· Eowyn would command the Rohyrrim, wile Eomer married Ghan-Bur-Ghan’s daughter.
· The Shire and the Elven kingdoms would receive carbon credits from Sauron and Saruman.

Zeth’s eyes lit up with that mischievous gleam that could only mean he had stumbled across something which was probably not meant for him to know. Leaning in conspiratorially, he whispered, “He gave Cyla a bouquet of flowers. And he offered to walk her to the market tomorrow.”
Spencer wiped his dirt-covered hands on his work trousers. “You spied on them, didn’t you?”
Zeth let out an exasperated breath and rolled his eyes. “How else is one supposed to know what goes on, eh?” A grin split his narrow face. “You have to admit you’re amused to hear it!”

Have you ever seen a poodle chase his tail?
His gaping jaws and panting seem to wail:

“I must get it! I must have it! It is Mine!”

The curly pom-pom bobs just inches from his nose,
The wobbly circle whirls faster as excitement grows,
Stumping loose-jointed limbs and furry feet,
Trying desperately to make both ends meet.

“Must must get it! must must have it! It is Mine!”

Just a bit of craziness. ;)
Inspired by Sir Lot of Orknay and Lothian (wasn't he in the King Arthur legends? Anyway, I saw the names and thought they were funny.)

------
Sir Lot of Orknay
Was a very strange fellow
His beard, it was black
But his hair, it was yellow

Sir Lot of Lothian
(And yes, this is true)
His eyes, they were pink
But his teeth, they were blue

Nobody had beat him
To this very day
For when anyone saw him
They fainted away

A rather exaggerated account of being frustrated with an uncooperative poem.

**********************************

Obstinate words! refusing to rhyme,
Simply becoming a waste of my time.
Crumple the paper, drop the pen.
Don't even want to SEE that line again!

Why do I bother? The more I insist,
The more these stubborn syllables resist!
I'm no poet, why even try?
One more failed idea...I'll start to cry!

Chapter the Twenty-fourth

It wasn't late. I supposed Father would probably invite HIM (I thought the name with so much disgust I nearly puked. Ugh.) to dinner this evening. I groaned loudly. "I'm not intelligent enough to become queen anyway," I said aloud to myself.
"Princess Jaiden, King Zion needs you," my butler, Amir notified me.

I was sitting alone in my room one night, gazing at the stars from my window like they always do in sappy books I've read when it came. Or should I say when HE came. My, he was beautiful. Perfect and purely white with dazzling blue eyes. The only problem was the person that rode him..........

Hi, I am Princess Jaiden Amari Luxsnarion of Marriorn, and on my sixteenth birthday my father notified me that for my present he arranged a marriage to the prince of Baska.