Lord, grant me the grace…

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When I woke up, I felt sick. I sat up in bed, realizing I was already late for work. Then suddenly the memories of the previous night flooded into my recollection and I fell back onto my bed.

My sister was dead, and I would never get to see her get married and become a mother, which was always her wish. But it would never be. My anger again was aroused, and I spoke aloud to God, saying, "Why, Lord, have you taken my sister's life? Do you not have any consideration for human kind?"

The evening was the fourteenth of December. The year was 1873. It was bitterly cold outside, yet I sat comfortable inside, warmed by a fire, and content and happy. But I could have been outside, chilled by the frosty fingers of the wind, and been just as content and happy. How could anyone not be who was in my place? God had blessed me, immensely. I was not yet twenty-three years of age and I had more than I could ask for.

He loved coffee.

She loved coffee.

He saw her every day.

He was the highlight of her day.

Aleydis watched the handsome See What I Bean’s employee create the shocking wonder of the double caramel frappuccino with a dexterity that only comes with being a high school student with a long-standing need for caffeine. It was very impressive, really. At the same time, it was maybe a little strange how one’s passion turned to coffee.

He turned to face her, adding a fancy flourish to the whipped cream. “More? Less?”

“Nope, perfect.”

You’re not at all what I expected,
You’re a mystery to me,
A present wrapped undetected,
not placed beneath the tree.

We didn’t meet the way I planned,
all sparkle and romance.
We didn’t meet on moonlit sand
or even at a dance.

I waited for you to notice me,
all dressed up in blue.
But you were too busy to stop and see
the effort I made for you.

Later we met, all tousled and worn
with hair completely a mess,
in old t-shirts and jeans torn,
but the meeting itself: priceless.

I pulled into the drive and found a spot to park my car. I took the key out of the ignition and put it in my purse. I looked at my hands, palms up. They were shaking and sweating like crazy. I clenched them into fists to steady them and gritted my teeth.
"You can do this," I whispered to myself. "It'll be better this way."

Oh Lord my God I stand right here,
Do cleanse me now and draw me near.
I pray you'd purify my soul,
Please sanctify and make me whole.

Amazing Lord, oh wondrous God,
To Thee all glory and all laud.
Your mercy sav'd me from my sin.
A gift of grace given to men.

All glory be to Thee dear Lord.
Teach me to wield your holy sword,
Help me instruct and edify
Your image Lord to magnify.

Dear Lord with this I now draw near;
A burden given me to bear.
For strength I ask with my whole heart
That I might carry all, not part.

I am faulty, willing but weak,
That is why Your strength I seek.
So on Your Almighty name I call
Lest under this heavy weight, alone, I fall.

But not quite alone for in silence I hear
That still small voice sounding in my ear.
Reassuring, powerful, sweet and strong;
In my aching heart You give me a song.

[this has been redacted for possible publication. I will repost if it doesn't get into the college lit mag.]