July 4th, 2009
Dear Journal,
Today was a good day. The Grays invited Mom and I to go to a fireworks display with them. I sat with Josh and Kelly. When the fireworks started Josh tried to hold my hand so I slapped his hand. He said he was just being friendly so I told him that I didn't like that kind of "friendly" and that if he wasn't careful I would have to stop being around him. So he went back to his old way of being friendly, which I like much better. Kelly just glared at him and told him to leave me alone. She's pretty mad at him for the way he treated Courtney.

When tears I cry I cry for me,
In selfish pride my tears flow.
I know this doesn't have to be;
It doesn't and this I know.

But when He cried His bitter tears
He wept with grief, not shame.
He payed for sins of all the years,
And still we mocked His name.

Our Lord and Savior took the blow,
He sacrificed His life, in love.
We murmur as we reap and sow,
While He looks pitying from above.

June 12, 2009
Dear Journal,
I made two new friends at the park this afternoon. They were a brother and sister named Josh and Kelly. Josh is 16 and Kelly is 14. They're homeschooled. I figured out that they live three houses down from mom and me so they invited me to hang out at their house tomorrow afternoon for a couple of hours. They have a big pool so we'll probably swim. And Josh said he'd teach me how to skateboard. He's pretty cool.
Kennedy

[this piece has been redacted for publication in my school's literary journal!]

Be brave and strong,
Have courage, walk tall.
Never give up and never back down;
Always remember the cross and the crown.
There is such a great love,
It's your gift from above.
Always share it,
Make others aware of it,
Show it, shine it, live it, find it,
Know it, define it, understand it.
Your rank is not in who you are,
But what He made you by far:
Be that, show that, and see
That He is greater than you will ever be.
Be a great man and strong.
Show Him in your work, play, and song,

I know you likely read that title and thought that it could be read multiple ways. That, my friends, is a deliberate choice in ambiguity. Many would read that title and think I am going to talk about how it is so difficult to be a Christian. I am instead going to pose the question the other way: Why does everyone else think it is so hard to be a Christian? This is part 1. I am going to focus on the topic of sacrifice.

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What does it mean
To grow in the Lord,
To conform and reform,
To press towards the mark?
What is the high calling?
I feel like I'm falling,
Not able to grasp it,
Asking "Why, what if..."
Unable to rest in,
Grow in, progress in
The knowledge,
The teachings of the Word.
My faith is fleeting;
My trust is so flimsy,
Yet my heart is ready
To say "Here am I!"
I need to run, to kneel
At the cross, and feel
The love that poured down,
To see the crown
Of thorns that pressed

Wonderful counselor, almighty God;
Beginning and ending: creator of time.
You are the comforter and the rod;
Yet your punishment is deserved by far.
Your grace reaches farther than I imagine,
Your truth will be upheld through trials.
Though your truth threatens my life
I will remain true, by your grace I will stand.
I want to feel Your peace, know Your love,
I want to understand Your grace,
To use my life for Your glory; to save a life,
Lay down my liberty, if I need to.
When I think of the murder of babies,

I want to be the girl who
Gets chased by all the boys
And tastefully turns them down
But
That’s not how it works, is it?
I want to wear red lipstick
I want to be edgy and tattoo my collarbone
With a bird, or a rose, or a thorn
Maybe
But that’s not who I am, is it?
Organically me
I like fuzzy socks
And yoga pants
I like hugging my horse around
His big neck
I like drinking too much coffee
I like thinking about dreams
And stories
And futures
And singing out loud

i would say

i would say that this house is
too chilled in the winter air
and that i'd really just prefer
a really strong cup of coffee

but i'll take the tea all the same

i would say that you never
really told me why you picked
up your things and left
without any words

but i wouldn't understand anyway

i would say that this line is
taking too long--do you really
need to get that five cent
discount on hot dogs?

but it wouldn't accelerate the process