I Need You

Submitted by Damaris Ann on Thu, 04/19/2018 - 00:08

You know that time is wasting away
The clock is ticking to start a brand new day
And I'm just waiting here for you say
I need you

I want for you to hold me close
I'm fading here as everyone knows
But the truth remains I'm still here alone
I need you

Can't you see
I'm waiting here for you to find me
Can't you see
I need you

I wonder if you ever passed me by
I wonder if I'll ever get to call you mine
Sometimes it seems like love is just a lie
I need you

Can't you see
I'm waiting here for you to find me
Can't you see
I need you

I know you'll come to me in God's good time
Until then I'll wait and not pine away
And when you come I'll breathe a happy sigh
You'll need me

Can't you see
I'm waiting here for you to find me
Can't you see
I need you

You know that time is wasting away
And I'm just waiting here for you to say
I need you

Author's age when written
20
Genre
Poetry
Tags
life
love
music
loneliness
waiting
Notes

A song I wrote several months ago. :) I haven’t been writing this last week or two, so I thought I’d go ahead and post an oldie.

Comments

Libby

Thu, 04/26/2018 - 05:36

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Hi Damaris, this was nice to read and I liked the flow. The first lines were very nice and rhymed really well. One specific line caught my attention, however:

I know you'll come to me in God's good time
Until then I'll wait for you and not pine
And when you come I'll breathe a happy sigh
You'll need me

I felt good for the first line, but when we came to the second one, just the end was a bit...awkward? I'm not sure how to say it. I like the thought that you want to get across. Do you think it would be better to maybe have something like...

Until then I'll wait for you, I won't whine"

or

Until then I'll wait for when I'll call you mine"

But these are just suggestions--I like it overall. :)

Damaris Ann

Thu, 04/26/2018 - 16:09

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Thank you, Libby!!
Oops! That line is actually supposed to say “pine away” because even though “away” doesn’t rhyme with the first line, it flows much better and makes more sense when I’m singing it. :) I’ll have to fix that.

I don’t thrive off of chaos: chaos thrives off of me.