1. No More Drama
Reflecting back, it seems so silly
All of the whining and the drama
It leaves an ache of embarrassment in my chest
But then I reflect further
Then I reflect deeper
And then I recall all the things that I felt.
2. The Flame
Let the flames lick the sky
Faces reflected, going down into the embers
It’s only certain things that set my heart on fire
Just before gets choked out by the smoke
3. The Sky is Falling
The sun is raining into the lake
Silver beams echo the clouds
I’m touched by the risk
The sky is willing to take
4. Lost in the Familiar
She reaches forward without a thought
Overcome with familiarity
She’s not yet accustomed to being apart
Her hands seem lost, so she shoves them in her pockets
5. Fragile Confusion
Her fragile lips aren’t made for speaking
She shuts them like a door
Her fingers are confused, so she runs them through her hair
Her eyes are uneasy, they dart from side to side
She knows that this isn’t the way.
Sorry if these are repetitive, especially the last two. I wrote them from the same notes, just with a slightly different storyline for each. I hope y'all like them! FEEDBACK IS ALWAYS WELCOME PLEASE.
Comments
The mood is, like, so right
The mood is, like, so right for these to be read right now!! It's pouring, for one, and Stay is on the radio. (That Rihanna song?? Not usually a big fan of her stuff, but I like that one). Haha. Anyway...
No More Drama is really relatable. I've felt that before--silly for a certain thing I did, then thinking about it more and not feeling so silly. That's what I got from that poem, anyway. Wonderful work!
It’s only certain things that set my heart on fire
^ That paints a really vivid picture. Just that line has a ton of emotion in it. Loooooove it.
And I love the last two lines in #3. Dearly.
Four and five are a lot alike, and they kind of fit together. Especially with the hands/fingers in each poem. It's hard to pick which is my favorite between the two. They both have lines that really stick out.
Love this: She knows that this isn’t the way.
And...: She’s not yet accustomed to being apart
Her hands seem lost, so she shoves them in her pockets
Love it!!!
It's amazing what you're able to do with just a few lines of poetry!
Thanks guys!!!! All of your
Thanks guys!!!! All of your encouragement really keeps me going.
Kassady: Well, I'm embarrassed to say that I don't know what a metre is, exactly. All of my poetry is definitely free form.
Homey: Those last two were a couple of ideas I had from the same set of notes, but I thought that they fit together :). Also, I'm addicted to that song!!!!
Thanks so much!
"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond
I really liked 5, especially
I really liked 5, especially the first part:
Her fragile lips aren’t made for speaking
She shuts them like a door
Her fingers are confused, so she runs them through her hair
Great job!
The most astonishing thing about miracles is that they happen.
-G. K. Chesterton
Thank you!
Thank you!
"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond
I liked the poems, but I
I liked the poems, but I enjoyed them much more knowing they were variations on a theme.
I have hated the words and I have loved them, and I hope I have made them right. --The Book Thief
Thank you!
Thank you!
"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond
Ooh! More Poetry!
It's obvious that I just love your poetry by now, so I'm not going to emphasize the obvious ;) Because they're awesome!
I'm having a REALLY hard time figuring out which one was my favorite. I love them all so much... but I'm going to say 3 and 4!
Silver beams echo the clouds
was definitely my favorite line.
I read 4 twice, because it just felt so mysterious and I couldn't get the meaning... but I love a lot, the wording was great.
So, do you have a metre for this poetry, or is it free-flowing? I like it either way, but if it's a metre, I'd love to know how to use it!
"Here's looking at you, Kid"
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Write On!