I gazed upon the sky above
Lost in thoughts of life and love
I missed the moon in darkness’ depths
But saw a shooting star instead

I sat, waiting for moon’s face to appear
But alas no friend to me was near
And yet the stars still smiled down
Like company, the silence crowned

And darkness covered me like a mask
Covering me like the smile I daily taxed
While still no moon made the quiet speak
My eyes overflowed and flooded my cheeks

I must do it
On my own
But I have no energy
Motivation wasted on
My sick body
Still I must do it
On my own
I must accomplish
What I’ve begun
My mind is angry
Frustrated by lack of ability
While lack of motion is
Fraught with despair
Still I try to do it
On my own
Til I fall down to my broken knees
Shouting aloud and
Voicing my bitterness
While I ask why I can’t do it
On my own
And that Still Small Voice
Cries into my ear
That it is not given to me

Animosity
My perplexity
A redundant thought
Some small worries fraught
Heart-torn and bleary
Blinded and weary
Sentences framed
Tongue is now aimed
Give me discretion
Show me my lesson
Diminish my fears
Wipe away my tears
I can't understand
But I won't demand
Please Lord, give me sight
Let me be alright
I want to trust You
Your promises true
Delight in Your will
Heart of mine, be still
Look up for the Light
His love gives us sight

Galatians 5:22,23 kjv
"The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law."

{Lately martyrdom has been on my mind. Stay tuned on my blog to find out why. But then I caught a stomach bug and was quite miserable. The next day I listened to a sermon by Eric Ludy called "Extraordinary Courage" ... which really stepped on my toes. My thoughts, Mr. Ludy's, and some of Richard Baxter's are included in this prayer}

‘Tis so easy to romanticize
The notion of martyrdom.
The longing inside with the prayer
"Thy kingdom come.”

‘Tis so noble to want to die
For His glorious name,
Yet when the pain comes