Incandescent joy
This is not a ploy
Happiness today
Hold it not at bay
Let the light so glow
Everyone will know
Seems I cannot wait
Jitters won't abate
Inexplicable
Patience workable
Be still oh my heart
Carry on your part
Feelings shan't prate
It's well worth the wait

The seconds tick by
Slowly.
My eyes wander.

My mind wants to
My heart bleeds for it
But I’m still so dreadfully
Unwilling.

The time escapes
Through the hands of the clock I suppose
I’m certain of it, actually.
It’s odd.

I want to—but I don’t
I try to—but it’s so hard.
Romans is actually for real.
Surprise.

Fast forward a decade or two
And I know for a fact
That I'll look back on what I didn't do
With regret.

[Sorry for posting the next chapter so rapidly! I'm not sure what is the posting limit per week, but I had to finish it early and ask your indulgence -- I have to spend the rest of the week working on (another) application for a writer's residency. :D Hope you're all having a good midweek! <3 Sarah]

[And as Homey pointed out in the last post -- yes, that's Jed in my profile picture! :D ]

***************************

"So, what is it you have to tell me?"

"What? Which?"

"You said yesterday you had something to tell me,” Aggie said.

It will be a Thursday.

It will be a Thursday
when I let go of this
unusually tragic moment.

It will be a Thursday
when the light strikes
the window just right
and I realize that there is
nothing left to do here.

It will be a Thursday
when I cut loose and
let myself dream of
tall buildings and new faces

It will be a Thursday
when I leave the rational
arguments behind like
inconveniently parked cars.

You are obsessive
Overprotective
I'm sightless and dull
Boxed, with no hole
What I cannot see
Must be best for me
If I'd understand
I'd have more on hand
It's a false calling
Surely I'm falling
My love is annulled
And my life controlled
Drowning, and flailing
I'm senselessly failing
Questions of doubting
Arguments routing
I'll hear it no more
On faith I will soar

A moon hangs high above the sea
It's mystic light reflects a soul
a pale soul I must agree
Reflected in the water sea.

Night awakens and takes up duty
Searching the land for hidden booty.
When it finds what it seeks
It tells the star and the star winks.

The song of dreamers plays out
my memories dance along before my eyes
Four years
I look up to the sky
The stars in their phobrightness
painted on moons and painted on faces
Four years
Smiles fill the empty space between us
between the beginning and now the end
Is this the end
The final march played out that I dance to?
I sing along triumphantly
Rebelliously?
Four years
One two three
You look at me and I look at you
Heart beats fast trying to fly
Your hand grips mine dramatically

Feet slip easily into an old pattern,
Arms slip so easily into place,
Like they belong round your shoulders,
Like your's belongs at the small of my back,
So soft I hardly notice your touch,
So comfortable
I hardly notice the social awkwardness this could be,
And I enjoy smiling in return,
Smooth moves proving successfully pulled off between us.
My bare feet remember patterns,
And now I know the hole in your floor boards,
Laughing so easily,
So close it's comfortable to just be simply happy,
No complications,

***

Jed snapped his fingers and shuffled into his room, and gave a spin. He flipped his covers up from his bed. Motes were enlivened in the September sunlight, like rising bumble bees. He dove under his bed and yanked a shoebox out from the darkness. He rubbed the layer of gray dust off the lid. The box was filled with notebooks and loose papers, and he took out a small journal from the bottom. The cover was bound with cow-hide, and the yellowish paper felt intimate to his fingers. He put the journal into his leather satchel and buckled the flap tightly.