lying on the floor
staring at the space
below the door
sobbing
praying
wanting to go numb
wishing I could close my eyes
and this day would be done
wanting to sleep
in a dark room
and live in my dreams
or else
float away
to somewhere warm and hazy
somewhere numb
I don't want to feel
anything
anymore
but maybe
the sun will rise tomorrow
the world will be clear and bright
and I will be glad that I am not numb
maybe
Feel like venturing to the notes at the bottom of the page before you read this? Please do!
__________________________
Angry Love
Choleric
Journal,
I hate you. I hate the way you make me feel about myself. When I flip through the pages the entries with all the lies pop out at me. It’s amazing how long it can take to write five sentences full of half-truths. It’s much harder to dress things up than it is to tell it like it is--raw, painful, and ugly.
I. Only wishes
I. Too Many Voices
I’m dizzy, my head is spinning
My feet swerve across the floor
Which way should I turn?
I can’t make the choice
Too many voices are calling my name
This ringing in my ears is creeping into my mind
II. Slowly Breaking Heart
What I wouldn’t give to just spit it out
Get it over with
Have you tell me no, it can’t be
At least that way, my heart might not break quite as slowly
III. My Valentine?
I. when you tasted like honey
one
Ⅰ We are standing face-to-face Much too close yet far away They’re a tricky thing These games We both find fun to play Until of course it fights Comes back with a bite Forcing us to hide Away Until it’s time to fight
Ⅱ He said--to me-- If you must know “I’ll be more than glad to go.” Said the thing that hurt the most Because he knew me so well
Ⅲ I fell into your arms Tripped over shoelaces And you got me I was off my guard (Literally) And we both pushed away Mumbled apologies
A late Christmas poem! Comments make my day :)
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Child of Promise
Tiny body wrapped in rags
New pink flesh poked with hay
Innocent baby
My newborn messiah
Welcomed by a lowing cow
Announced by a choir of angels
Desolate child
The sacrificial lamb
Two frightened parents all alone
Thoughts and dreams, vows to keep
Firstborn son
Prince of Peace
Future grim, yet so bright
Prophesied pain and indescribable love
Infant King
God of all
Chelsea wanted to be brave.
When they told her she couldn’t, her vision abruptly grew razor sharp. Her eyes focused on her father’s glasses, which were slipping down his nose. He noticed her stare and quickly fixed them.
“But I…” She whispered. The words were stolen from her breath. Her heart was racing, and her palms were clammy. She brushed her hair off her neck.
“We think it’s best,” Her father continued, “If you do what Sammie did. She’s a wonderful housewife, with beautiful children.”
She hadn’t wanted to be like her sister. She had hoped—
Ah, another one of my cliche poems about dreams! I'd love a comment :)
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Reaching
Sometimes I wonder in whimsical words
While the rest the world sleeps
About things of tomorrow
Sometimes I imagine
That the smiles of today
Were of more consequence
That they’ll be remembered tomorrow
But I know, just know
That they won’t
That today is all about
Biding my time
Until the horizon is here
Until I can tell
That my future has arrived