1. Summer Wine
My dreams still taste like summer and wine
Vivid flashes of sunsets and freedom
I looked out into the horizon and remembered
The words you whispered in my ear too many years ago
And I smiled.

2. On the Horizon
Vivid wild taste of freedom
Open my eyes to a never ending horizon
If this is what the future looks like
I can’t get there fast enough

3. Bliss
You make me forget
Who I am
And who I want to be
I’m someone else entirely
I think I might like it

1. Those Three Words
I love you
More than all the stars combined
Those three words don’t always carry much weight
But I can tell you with solidarity
That I mean them more than you will ever know

2. Lovely Lazy Day
Am I wasting my time?
Probably
But for once I don’t mind
Because time wasted with you
Isn’t really wasted at all

1. When He’s Happy
The kind of smile you want to keep around
Crinkling eyes invite you in
Envelope you in understanding
Silent laughter, it makes the room glow

2. Too Much
You look so tired
Why can’t you just sleep
Tell them to figure it out
You don’t have to hold their hand
Go, darling, take a rest
It’s going to be okay.

1. The Hunger
I was starving when you found me
Maybe that’s why I ate with such ferocity
Lapped you up with my eyes
Savored every bite with my heart
You let me in for a while
Then you made me spit you out
You knew it wasn’t right
And, in my hungry little soul
I knew that you knew best

1. Exhausted
I used to put up with a lot
I used to brave the mood swings and the angry drunken tirades
Put a happy face on when I was shaking with fury
Stay united with my family while we all just watched
But now I’m making an executive decision
I don’t have to spend my time with people who make me crazy
So I’ll sit back in my cave and write about it.

1. I want to die on a beach
I want to die on a beach
Alone, the rain will pelt my smile
The tide engulfing my outstretched arms
The sand will wrap me up like a cocoon
When the lightning strikes, I will remember my life as it once was
The ocean will take my body and I will swim amongst the whales.

Warning: A strong PG, mild PG-13. If any of the following bothers you, don't read:

-Use of the word 'gay' to describe someone's sexual orientation in a non-derogatory way

-One religious exclamation

Thank you!

_________________________

Chapter One

I opened my eyes.

I was blinded by light. Not just any light—bright, clean white that smelled so pure it made my throat burn. There was an ache in my chest, one that stemmed from my very center, squeezing out painful shivers with every heartbeat.

I'm not much of a poet, but I really felt like writing poetry. Hope you like it.

I stand here, all alone,
With darkness all around.
Yet even in this nothingness
I hear a little sound.

I hear you whisper in my ears,
I hear you laugh, I hear you cry.
A feeling wells inside my heart
That nothing can describe.

I feel Death coming nearer;
I don't know what to do.
And in that very second,
I know that I need you.

1. On the Edge
I find myself running more and more
Constantly in fear that I won’t run fast enough
I’m having those dreams where I run to a cliff
And I can’t stop before I step off the edge.

2. Variables
Dare you to keep me in your head
Even if you’re too afraid to try
Variables are thrown in left and right
In our lives we may just have to let it go
Nearly close enough, but just a finger’s breadth out of reach

I pick up my pencil and stare at the blank page of notebook paper. There is so much to write, but I cannot find the words. A deep blue sky hovers over me, warm breezes tickle my skin, and I glance around from my perch in the old oak tree. For a moment I let the moment just suck me in, pull me apart, and fill me with wonder. Then I turn my notebook over and flip through the pages scrawled with smudged lead. One page is illegible, stained with tears. Another is half torn where I ripped out the writing I could not bear to erase or keep. This is my journey.