Once upon a time there was a frog named Fred. Fred lived in a glass cage in the science room at some elementary school in Florida. Every morning, when the students came into class, Fred would plop himself right smack dab in the center of his cage and give everyone of those poor unfortunate students a very nasty glare. Most of the students were too busy wondering what kind of torture Mr. Smapps had in store for them that day to notice the glowering frog, and some of the more observant children would take a quick glance into the glass sided cage to make sure that the amphibian wasn’t out of water or dead flies. If only those poor children had known why Fred was staring at them so intently, they would have run screaming out of that science classroom as fast as their short little legs would carry them. There were a couple children in-particular that Fred stared the hardest at. If they had only known the things that were hopping through the diabolical little toad’s head, they might not have done the things they did.
There was one very annoying child who Fred absolutely detested and stared the hardest at. His named was Jamison Jeffery Jenkins McMervey-- a name which was only invented to cause young boys much pain, misery, and an occasional trip to the nurse’s office. Jamison Jeffery Jenkins McMervey had two very large front teeth, straw like blond hair that never seemed to stay in its proper place. He liked to spend his time terrorizing the kindergarteners and knocking very had on Fred’s glass. It’s bad enough to be tortured by a little boy with a runny nose and oversized black glasses, but it’s especially bad when that boy has a mother, and that mother’s name is Agatha Agnes McFearson McMervey!
Agatha Agnes McFearson McMervey was the type of woman that enjoyed her time at the beauty shop so much that she decided, just to save time, she should just stay in her slippers and curlers all day. Her long plastic nails were always painted a rich, blood like red color and she never went anywhere unless she was wearing her purple, velvet exercise pants. She gave everyone that she met terrible nightmares, not because of her wardrobe (which did help in a way), not with her sequin covered purses, but with the awful, earsplitting, absolutely terrifying sounds that proceeded out of her lipstick smeared lips.
This particular day, as Fred sat frowning at the small people streaming through classroom door, a very terrible thing happened. Mr. Smapps, the science teacher, stood up and cleared his throat. When Mr. Smapps cleared his throat there was always instant silence. So between the ticks of the clock, the teacher made his announcement.
“My dear small annoying students, I have a very important announcement to make. Today I and my assistants will be teaching all you runny-nosed children the art of DISECTION!!!!” Mr. Smapps slammed his scalpel into the desktop as he announced the dreaded word. A few gasps a came out of the poor frightened children’s trembling lips and sound of chattering teeth filled the room. The dastardly teacher turned from the terrorized children on from of him with the smile of an evil science teacher still on his lips. The frog in the cage felt his already cold skin grow colder and the man pointed his scalpel in the direction of the cage.
“As our dissection specimen, we will be using the FROG”

DUN DUN DUN DA!!!!