When I was sixteen and naive...

Submitted by Bridget on Sun, 01/08/2012 - 21:32

How much?
Too much maybe, but less than you deserve.
Not enough, but for me it's overwhelming.
This feeling - it's incredible, warming,
potentially heartbreaking,
but worth it all the same.

How much?
Enough that I can close my eyes and fly
and at the same time, fatally crash.
So intense,
like thunder, wind, the color red,
110 mph and going faster,
adrenaline.

How much?
I wish I could show you.
It's there,
look,
you'll see it.
I won't hide it from you.

How much?
Enough that I'm scared like I've never been before
but hopeful too, and it makes me smile.
It's running wild,
and I love it,
and if I get hurt, I won't be sorry I felt this.

How much?
Enough that it could kill me
but it hasn't yet;
maybe it won't.
I can dream
and I will
and I'll never stop.

How much?
Enough that I could ruin things,
enough that I can wait,
enough that I hope everything works out
perfectly.
That would be ideal.

How much?
Enough that I'm unsure, doubting myself,
praying I'm right
praying I won't hurt you.
Enough that I'm scared of how far I could fall;
how far we both could,
if you
(I hope)
(I'm scared to hope)
get caught up in this as much as I am.

How much?
Enough that if you're happy elsewhere,
go for it;
don't let me stop you
but don't forget me either,
please,
please don't.

How much?
So much,
can't deny it,
but wouldn't if I could;
Should deny it - it could come back and hit hard
it could hurt a little too much.
What doesn't kill me makes me stronger
but what doesn't kill me may come back and do the job right.

Yes, I'm scared
but willing to take the risk;
willing to love you
whatever happens.

Author's age when written
18
Genre

Comments

Love it :)

"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond

Thanks.

"I always wonder why birds stay in the same place when they can fly anywhere on the earth. Then I ask myself the same question." - Harun Yahya

Smh. This describes my life at the present time. Which is funny, since I'm both sixteen and naive. :-/

"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond

I didn't even know this existed! I must have missed it the first time around. Anyway, this was practically perfect. I'm 17, and fairly naive, although if someone else called me that I would freak. But this part:

How much?
Enough that I'm scared like I've never been before
but hopeful too, and it makes me smile.
It's running wild,
and I love it,
and if I get hurt, I won't be sorry I felt this.

was so much of what I've felt before that it was scary. The whole thing really just hit me though, somewhere between my heart and my memory. Wonderful job!

The most astonishing thing about miracles is that they happen.
-G. K. Chesterton

Wow, you guys... thank you so much!!
Just so you know, I'm not sure that this kind of naivete goes away. I'm 20 and I have recently felt this.
I would have replied earlier but I haven't checked my email for a while and then this popped up!

"I always wonder why birds stay in the same place when they can fly anywhere on the earth. Then I ask myself the same question." - Harun Yahya