Chapter One: Dream Land Drames had always been curious as to how the Dream Land actually looked, but his unspoken fears overruled his curiosity. Now, he glances around and glimpses… nothing. There is nothing to be seen in front of him. There is nothing to be seen anywhere. Then, out of nothing, a light appears in the far reaches of the Dream Land. Drames squints his eyes, straining to see past the nothingness and into the light which steadily grew larger. Eventually, the light grew big enough for Drames to see that it was not actually growing larger, but it was drawing closer across the nothingness. Drames is transfixed on the light as it grows into a torch, and then a car, a lamppost, a building, and finally… a train. By the time he recognizes what it is, Drames no longer cares. By the time he realizes where it is heading; Drames does not have time to move out of the way. Drames is trapped, like a deer in the headlights of a car, right before being run over. He braces for impact, and feels a powerful force of wind hit him like a hurricane. Drames is certain that his life force is about to be torn to pieces by the impact, until it stops. It stops as if it had never happened, as if there was nothing there. It is not until he peels them open that Drames realizes that his eyes are shut tight. He feels as though he had been roaring through the mighty winds of the impact for years, and his muscles ache with the simple act of opening his eyelids. Sinking to the floor, Jeremy Drames groans and rests, before once again attempting to open his eyes. As they begin to rise, his ears painfully pop back into working order and loud noises drift into his ears. Following swiftly in the footsteps of his hearing, Drames’ other senses also return. He hears people talking, children crying, waiters walking, wind howling, and the train swiftly running along tracks. Drames smells apple pie, steak, mashed potatoes, roast beef, and steaming vegetables. The smells are so good, that he can almost taste them. Drames sighs and sinks into a memory from his childhood. He is five years old, and he runs through the little house they had owned when his father had lived with them. He giggles with joy, and hears his parents laughing together in the kitchen. The smell of warm rhubarb pie drifts through the hallway, and he stops to take a deep breath before chasing after the breath of the pie still drifting through the air. His mother sees him entering the room, and smiles so big that the whole room lights up with her joy. She reaches out to pick him up, and swings him around in her arms. Drames sighs again, and shakes of the memory before actually looking at his surroundings.
Comments
Elizabeth Anne: I really want
Elizabeth Anne: I really want to read this, but first, could you tell me if you are re-writing your other first chapter or what this is...cause I am a little confused. Thanks! :)
"It is not the length of life, but the depth of life." Ralph Waldo Emerson
Mon, 07/02/2012 - 23:24
In reply to Elizabeth Anne: I really want by Lucy Anne
Sorry, it isn't meant to be
Sorry, it isn't meant to be confusing. :) This is the first chapter, but before this I have posted the Prologue and sky screen logs 1&2. The idea is that the prologue was the introduction, and the sky screen logs will just be like sections in between some chapters that are excerpts from Jeremy Drames' journal. They are intended to explain some of his past while the story continues. :)
See him with his books:
Tree beside the brooks,
Drinking at the root
Till the branch bear fruit.
See him with his pen:
Written line, and then,
Better thought preferred,
Deep from in the Word.
~John Piper
Since this is written in the
Since this is written in the first person, it was a bit difficult to get used to it. The first two paragraphs...I don't know, there's something wrong with it--sorry I'm not being helpful.
I really liked the 3rd paragraph. "Drames is transfixed on the light as it grows into a torch, and then a car, a lamppost, a building, and finally… a train. " I had to read that a few times before I realized what you meant but once I realized it, I really love it.
I'm anticipating to see how this goes. More please! :)
"It is not the length of life, but the depth of life." Ralph Waldo Emerson
More of my signature pessimism
Since you have undertaken a story about dreams and nightmares I assume you know what you're talking about. However, in the seconds preceding Drames' train wreck experience he would probably feel unable to move instead of too scared or not having enough time. To me (an experienced dreamer. Not to brag...) bracing himself makes Drames seem experienced and/or not fully subjected to the terror of nightmarish inability.
Nightmares are based on our fears, and inability and powerlessness are probably the most basic and far-reaching. Also it is common in nightmares like these for you to be chased or run at by an unmentionable fear-embodying monster nearly always coupled with the inability to run or defend yourself.
The memory also seems slightly out of place in a forced nightmare.
Sorry for essaying in your comments.
Music I created
[updated]
COOLCOOLCOOLCOOL.
COOLCOOLCOOLCOOL.
I have hated the words and I have loved them, and I hope I have made them right. --The Book Thief