I’ve been waiting for you to do it-
I am excited for you and her-
Then everything just feels weird for a minute
Maybe now I can say what I want to but-
All of these memories flash through my head like-
When you laid the measuring tape on
The open floor between us and
It read your height (exactly six feet) and-
“So, if I laid down on the floor, I’d reach you,” and
You smiled in that boyishly charming way that
Only you can and now-
You’re telling a story from across the room and
Looking straight into my eyes and-
“You’re saving my life,” which you tell everybody and-
You make me laugh and that’s why I like you and-
Your relieved face and her lips on your cheek-
The diamond ring you showed me glinting on her finger and-
Her eyes are alight with your future together and-
I am excited, I mean it, I really truly am
But I guess you can call this jealousy because
When I look at the picture I realize how much I want to
Be in her skin-
But it’s okay, I can’t change who I am and-
I’ll just go to the shower and cry for a bit and
I’ll keep myself together when I see you Monday, all right?
Comments
Ditto to Homey, this is truly
Ditto to Homey, this is truly lovely. I think your wording really did well to portray the story behind the poem, it was easy to jump into your world, to see the scene playing out. Very, very beautiful, with a hint of sadness; like a bitter-sweet. I liked this one, a lot!
"Here's looking at you, Kid"
---
Write On!
Thanks to both of you! I
Thanks to both of you! I contemplated not even posting it because it's probably my most straight-from-life personal poem, so I'm glad that y'all like it.
"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond
Oh!
So sweet and sad, Erin. I'm glad you posted it, even though it's pretty personal. I can't help feeling just a twinge of sadness.
The rhythm is really good, great job on that :)
And it really is just beautiful in general, thanks!
Goodbye? Oh no, please. Can’t we just go back to page one and start all over again?” – Winnie The Pooh
This is beautiful - down to
This is beautiful - down to earth and yet it still reads like music. I'm glad you decided to share it with us. :) And as for being the most personal poem as to date, I tend to think that the more personal the subject, the more of your heart is poured into it, which results in better poetry over all.
Somehow, this line meant the most to me: The diamond ring you showed me glinting on her finger and-
The most astonishing thing about miracles is that they happen.
-G. K. Chesterton
Thanks, y'all <3
Thanks, y'all <3
"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond
Oh, I love this Erin. It's
Oh, I love this Erin. It's great. It's just really great. And this line: Her eyes are alight with your future together That line was really musical, almost, and it just kind of surprised me. Lovely job!