Desperately

I wore my heels
Showed up on time
He said I looked devine

The evening wore
A simple dress
I said it looked a mess

The chariot was
A shiny car
It didn't have to take us far

We held hands
For a short time
He had his and I had mine

Broken vowels
Put to the test
I said, "You know how to pick the best."

Acne-faced
And levi jeans
Yet there he was across from me

Doughnut shop
At five-past-nine
Boy I dreaded that goodbye

And there we were
On my doorstep
With strain our quivering tongues were kept

Compatible
I know we're not
You have a girlfriend I am not

Because It's Not (there yet)

Breathe this in
That crisp night air
That's so good you want to call it a sin
But don't because
That would be wrong
Because it's not

And meander in your mind through
Poorly composed villas
Seize the dreams stifling the room
And love where you are
Because it's not there

Believe me when I say "someday"
Maybe the most ominous of words
Leaving blind anticipation
No way to know when the some day comes
Because it's not there yet

Drivel

I love you
Love me back for
Pete's sake it's not
Going to hurt
Don't feed me that
Drivel poor cliche excuse
I know you're not afraid
You're just lazy and honestly
It angers me that
I love you

Ache

Some days it's an ache
And others I can almost feel you
I'm afraid feeding the scenes will only
Make them bloated
So that when the day comes
And you and I are touching for an instance
Everything will cease when you pull away
Except a throbbing heartache
Worse than the ache I had
Prior to having known and lost you

See My Face (am I pretty?)

Am I pretty enough I wonder
Only he can tell me
My gratification lies within
His acceptance
But he won't because
He's never seen my face
How is he to know
That I am here, waiting on his answer
That even a "no" might be okay
Coming from him
If it meant he saw my face

Satire

We are satire
A mockery of what
Love should be

You gave me a dove and
I gave you a willow tree
Said, "Now try to weep"

My hands were encased in
Candle wax
From trying to keep the flame

Coax it day and night I tried
You laughed and
Forgot to call my name

I know what's easiest to see
You know the most about
Exaggerating

But please take a simple liberty
And say the words you mean
Honestly

But what will that leave me
Desire?
I think it leaves the both of us in satire

Boundaries

Fall
Quietly
Forward
the gap between us
speaks a different language
than we do
Try
To
Catch
me if you can
and I'll try not to
outrun you
Touch
My
Wrist
timidly so I'm not
startled away
like the last time
Speak
In
Whispers
so I can pretend
not to hear
the things I don't like

Honestly, Let it Go

There I am
I stand
Firm; for once
And my heart is racing
The feeling of dread
Overcomes everything
You once said
That--remember--that to me?
That the hardest word to say wasn't sorry
But leave
Because on one hand you're repenting
And the other implies defeat
And really
Who am I to think
To believe
In anything other than what I am at my worst
And continue to live as I do
When the only person that truly knows me
Is the one who hates me too

Bacon

Bacon was hard to savor
Ate it quickly
Wanted more but
Then it was gone
Bacon was in the palm of my hand
Where'd it get to?
I can't remember
Only how delicious it was
Only how bad for me
Only how I hated that deliciousness
When there was no more

The Cabin

When it's gone
I'll miss
Drinking hot coffee
With English Muffin toast
And
Listening to the waves
Breathing in the smell
Laughing hysterically on the paddle board
So hard you almost tip over
Sunset wading-out
Befriending dragon flies
Relishing the feel of
Feet-on-sand
After eight worthwhile hours in a car
The smell that is
Unmatched by any other
Climbing into the king-size bed
With my parents early morning
Being made giddy by the night breeze
Waking up cold and happy
Feeling like I belong there
Feeling like I have something
No one else has
I know it hurts them more
I know
That, for them
It's babies and childhood and summer
Young love and boat rides
Every one moment that has mattered
But I'll miss
Climbing into the car
Feeling excited then
Sharing meals and
Swims
Believing in sun and water only
Ten-minute firework shows
Wading through the colorful crowd
The chance to grow up like my mom
And then
Being silly
Blasting music
Sharing stories
Reading from the books
But
She is there
We are there
They are there
And it will remember us
As we will it
So when it's gone
We'll say goodbye
We won't go back
We'll miss it

Little Bit of Everything

You're a little bit of everything
Kind, funny, sweet
You're not afraid to make
Yourself look like an idiot
Which is good because I do that quite easily
You're straight and curly
Awkward and unaware
I think I love you for your many faults
Like the fact that you play the bad games
As well as the good
Or slightly interesting
And your smile can brighten any day
I've seen you cry, too--and that's what makes me
Reply on those moments when you
Either forget or get tired
Of saving face
You're a little bit of everything

aych

Everything he does
I love
I love everything he does