Halls drip all around me, halls wrought out of stone
Etched so from a mountain of malice and hate;
Like unto a grave, this room chilleth my bone –
Pursuing my soul to its perishing fate.
Why should I have lived, so to see this dark day?
Hell’s fire reached my home, for my heart, so to tear.
Eternally, cruel – nay! My soul cannot say!
Recalling what happened is too hard to bear.
Eternally, cruel! My soul’s love passed away,
In everything, precious; eternally gone!
Such evil, my spirit, succeeded to slay:
My soul lieth dead, ’tis been shattered with stone.
Ye bars in the door, of this curs’t prison cell,
Go, sing! And rejoice at my wretched estate!
Oh, sing ye, for no one can e’re you dispel,
Despair, dark and hate shall fore’re be my fate.
¬********
Mysterious! How I consider what passed,
Yes, lucky now, I must have been, I assessed,
Horrendous imprisonment having escaped
E’en from a dark fortress, the doors having gaped!
Like not to luck, no! I then saw, Not at all –
Pretend not; ’twas He who brought me from that hall!”
I kneel now before Thee, my Lord and my King,
Salvation Thou’st brought me, of which I will sing!
Help me, then, to trust Thee, as I walk the road
Establish by Thee, which for me Thou’st bestowed.
This poem is actually a prequel to my other poem, It Is a Quiet Evening. Both poems have the same hidden feature in them, which maybe you can find. Here's a hint: Think more visually and mechanically to find it.
Comments
I see in this poem a story
I see in this poem a story of salvation. In my poem, Free, it tells a similar tale. Is that what yours is? An allegorical telling of yours, or someone else's salvation?
"Sometimes even to live is courage."
-Seneca
Aha, this time I see it. I
Aha, this time I see it. I like the depth it adds to the poem and I think it works especially well in the other one. :)
Thanks, y'all
Thanks for the comments, everyone.
Timothy: Glad you found it!
Christa: Examine the left margins. The hidden feature is deceptively simple – Sometimes John Milton would put such things in his poetry.
Sarah: Yes, both poems tell a story, or part of one. I’m actually working on an epic of sorts, and both poems describe part of the protagonist’s journey through life. So far, all I have of the epic is a lot of ideas and notes; I haven’t gotten around to writing it yet.
<><~~~~~~~~~~~~><>
"The idea that we should approach science without a philosophy is itself a philosophy... and a bad one, because it is self-refuting." -- Dr. Jason Lisle
very clever!
very clever!
Sweet!
I didn't catch the hidden message at first either. But that's cool! I can't do that with poetry-most of mine is slapdash. An epic? Good for you!!!! That's sounds cool.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
And now our hearts will beat in time/You say I am yours and you are mine...
Michelle Tumes, "There Goes My Love"
Thanks!
Yes, I think writing an Epic is cool too -- but it seems overwhelming! I can come up with characters, story lines, peoples, worlds, races, etc. (and I have), but actually writing it down well as a good story is more challenging than I anticipated.
<><~~~~~~~~~~~~><>
"The idea that we should approach science without a philosophy is itself a philosophy... and a bad one, because it is self-refuting." -- Dr. Jason Lisle
I finally got it! Thanks for
I finally got it! Thanks for the extra tip. :)
It's a very good poem, I love it!
I have hated the words and I have loved them, and I hope I have made them right. --The Book Thief
Your poetry is amazing. You
Your poetry is amazing. You should submit it somewhere for publishing.
---
The Word is alive/and it cuts like a sword through the darkness
With a message of life to the hopeless/and afraid...
~"The Word is Alive' by Casting Crowns
May my words be a light that guides others to the True Light and Word.
Formerly Kestrel
A Piece of Art
Wow, exquisite. Your just to talented James.
"My greatest wish for my writing is that it would point you to the Savior."
I really enjoy your work
I really enjoy your work James, but between you and your brothers I feel really inept as a poet! lol. You're all very talented. With all the thees and thous, it has a definite old world charm to it, and I can't help but feel a little anxious at the hellfire and brimstone connotations ;) Also, my intelligence ego is brought low as well, I can't see the hidden meaning in either of the poems. Perhaps another clue?