I. Bad, Bad, Bad
No, no, no, no
Not going down this road
Again
Friends are friends
It doesn’t matter
If they’re boys or girls.

II. What
Why is this jealousy
We’re not—
I’ve never even thought of you like—
Block my thoughts, don’t let them go
Any farther than they already have
“But seriously, she’s too old for you
She doesn’t even speak English,”
Laugh it off
But wow, I really don’t want you to
See this woman ever again.

"Because I'm obsessed with you,"
She says, we all laugh
"No, just kidding, that's Erin
I'll leave you two alone now."
And I am so grateful that you just
Let it roll off like you didn't hear her
Even though you probably know
She's right.

I.
I don’t have a confidence problem
In fact, I am a little vain
I don’t mean to insinuate
That I think I am perfect
Because that is entirely untrue
However,
I like myself not just physically
But as a whole
And I don’t think that is a bad thing.

II.
I often wish that I could
Be eight years old again
Times were a lot simpler
Way back when

III.
I don’t have a best friend
Right now
I get a little lonely
But
It will get better

I’ll never forget the moment
I first told you that I love you,
thinking you’d be happy—
as happy as you’ve made me.
I can’t forget the fear inside,
watching your face fall instead.
Now you’re pushing me away,
telling me I shouldn’t stay,
telling me I shouldn’t love you,
that I’m better off without you,
certain I’d no longer love you,
If I only knew...

1. Unnecessary Sharing
He slides his eyes sideways to capture my reaction
I work hard to keep my face unchanged
It’s okay, no big deal
I didn’t ask for his opinion anyway.

2. Emote
Your face is an open book
You can transform into someone else
In an instant
I’m getting tired of trying to keep up
With your mood swings and changes
It’s too hard to help somebody
Who is so far gone.

FOR THE REST OF THE WEEK, ARIA WAS TAKEN IN BY THE TOWN’S physician, Cad had followed the town’s sheriffs the whole way to the physician’s house. His hands kept shaking and he cursed every time he’d ever fumbled for an arrow. Aria, Cad wondered. How could she have learned all of those fighting techniques? She’d never shown me those… But then again, why would she? Cad glanced at Silas who was walking nervously next to him.

I.
How you tilted your head skyward
and the sun filtered
over your freckles
I've never had such a
beautiful day.

II.
How I have loved you
with every step you have taken
even when the breathing
got to be too much for you
How I have forgiven you
when you have brought me down
with your tight jaw and sometimes
self involved disposition
How I have missed all the good days
but they are gone and we won't
get them back
that's okay.

Oh wait—I don’t drink coffee. And come to think of it, it wasn’t a short break, either. Hopefully I’m not the only one who’s noticed that I’ve been gone from ApricotPie for a very long time now. I promise, it wasn’t intentional. So first, a brief update on my life, and then an explanation for my absence followed by some thoughts on the future.

I. Uncertainty
so you’re telling me no
but when back then
i know that
yes is ridiculous
so are chances
but i really thought
never mind

II. Tipping
rose petal colored
fingernail polish spilled
on tiled aqua floor
stained it the color
contrast she called it
it was her own
abstract decoration

I. Regress
I wanted her to turn around
So I could see her face
Confirm in real life
My biggest suspicion
That she was as pretty as she looked
In his pictures
I had met her once, before all of this
She was pretty then, but I hadn’t paid this much attention
I recognized her by her red-gold hair
Neatly curled and tapering down near her waist
Her voice was sweet and smart
I wanted her to turn around
But then she followed him out the door.