(As a preface to the following randomness... I'm writing from Franciscan University, where I am beginning my college education. I wrote the following piece just after my family left for home.)

I wake up late. 10:24ish. I knew I needed the sleep. And my sister’s not feeling well. And we didn’t feel like setting the alarm. Fun.

I lay (trying to be awake) and go through my To Do list aloud. It’s going to be one of those days…

Ok, I’m scrambling to get something together before these last few precious days of May slip past us. And I’m only just getting this up now! Life has been crazy here for the past few weeks. First Communions. The end of school. Confirmations. Formals. House-cleaning. Guests. Stray kittens. Retreats. Movie-making. Yeah, you name it, we’ve done it. So . . . I’ve taken a bit of a writing absence while I’ve been busy living. Which is a good thing anyway. We can all afford to live a little. It’s the best thing for writing, actually. In case y’all didn’t know.

“True freedom isn’t the ability to do whatever you want, but the ability to do what you ought.” - Pope John Paul II

Right off, I have to say thank you to Paul, whose piece "Quiet Society" has been inspiring me ever since it was written, until my thoughts have materialized into this reflection . . . It might seem a contradiction to his observations, at first, but I think I’ve really found a fascinating, paradoxical connection, underneath it all.

God's voice, His word, is Christ--speaking that Will you? that He came to make attainable. Because He died we have the prospect of life--and now He’s always asking: Will you? Will you live? That is the essence of God--that tenderness, that love, that mercy, that strength, that desire. God has given us a choice. He has left it to us, whether we will choose Him and His light. Will we? It’s not the matter of a moment. So many times I have cried aloud a Yes! And yet, that is only true if we continue that Yes, that Amen, every moment of every day of every year in our lives.

The room was dark. It hurt her eyes to have it lighted more than dimly. Her head ached regardless. She was queen, and she was dying. Dying. And had no heir.
She sighed heavily. She was faintly aware of having done so several times within the last five minutes. And her weary mind kept on its futile trek around and around in a circle of indecision. Every time she came back to the thought of her young cousin, in France, she would linger and sigh.
He said her cousin couldn’t be queen.

It is ever so much harder to appreciate beauty, truth, wisdom, simplicity, etc., when you are surrounded by new cars, huge houses, the latest styles, a million things of convenience, violent and literally disgusting movies, obnoxious and wretched music, and all manner of offensive advertisement.

Huge, sharp, jagged, obstinate.
Ever standing,
never giving in.
Hit, beat, routed, overwhelmed.
Ever shunning,
never letting go.

Large, rough, rugged, resolute.
Ever staying,
never giving way.
Knocked, struck, battered, buffeted.
Ever holding,
never giving up.