What Nothing Can Describe

Submitted by Susannah on Sun, 06/30/2013 - 21:53

I'm not much of a poet, but I really felt like writing poetry. Hope you like it.

I stand here, all alone,
With darkness all around.
Yet even in this nothingness
I hear a little sound.

I hear you whisper in my ears,
I hear you laugh, I hear you cry.
A feeling wells inside my heart
That nothing can describe.

I feel Death coming nearer;
I don't know what to do.
And in that very second,
I know that I need you.

A tear falls from my eye;
I feel your presence near.
Your face is shining bright
In its perfect, Crystal mirror.

A flash of shining light;
I turn and see your face.
And Death, the skulking monster
forever leaves this place.

And as I look upon you,
Into your pale-blue eyes,
Again, that feeling fills my heart
That nothing can describe.

You take my hand, and pull me up;
My life is whole again.
You lead me from that evil place
To feel the summer wind.

You heal the heart once broken;
You alone can make me smile.
And now I feel that happiness
Will fill me for a while.

Our journey nears its end,
Although it may be sad.
The tears flow from your face,
As the blood flows from my side.

You hold my hand so tightly,
I can hardly feel the pain.
And I begin to realize
My days are at their wane.

And as my life is fading,
I look into your eyes.
Please, never forget you've given me
What Nothing Can Describe - Love.

Author's age when written
13
Genre
Notes

Please let me know if there are any mistakes or corrections to be made. :)

Comments

That was intense! You should write poetry more often-I really enjoyed this.

"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond

Why can you write poetry, and I can't? :P

"My greatest wish for my writing is that it would point you to the Savior."

You can

"Even if the sun crashes into earth, I won't let go, I won't let go. I can be your light, stay with me tonight, I won't let go, I won't let go."

This is the best ever I've seen from you, Susannah!! Great job! I love everything about this!

"It is not the length of life, but the depth of life." Ralph Waldo Emerson

I really liked this! And it serves as a great companion to your story. It doesn't give away too much, but it piques interest. Keep writing!

The most astonishing thing about miracles is that they happen.
-G. K. Chesterton

I'm glad you liked my poem. That's good that it doesn't give too much away.

"Even if the sun crashes into earth, I won't let go, I won't let go. I can be your light, stay with me tonight, I won't let go, I won't let go."

This was intense! And the story so far (of what I've read, chapter 1&2) is really good...it's so interesting. And I agree with Erin and Lucy, you can put more personality with the characters and explain more of their lives not in their dialogue. I think Erin and Lucy Anne explained that better and I'm not much of a critique-r. :)

And thanks so much for your comment! (on my essay thingo) It flattered me...thanks heaps. So now I'm off to read the rest of your story! It is a really good hooker so far.

Goodbye? Oh no, please. Can’t we just go back to page one and start all over again?” – Winnie The Pooh

Thanks allot Maddi! I love it when people comment on my writing. :)

"Even if the sun crashes into earth, I won't let go, I won't let go. I can be your light, stay with me tonight, I won't let go, I won't let go."