1. The Hunger
I was starving when you found me
Maybe that’s why I ate with such ferocity
Lapped you up with my eyes
Savored every bite with my heart
You let me in for a while
Then you made me spit you out
You knew it wasn’t right
And, in my hungry little soul
I knew that you knew best
2. Our Glass Jungle
Once in our glass jungle
I saw a golden leopard
He crept on our fragile branches
Made them shake and shiver for fun
He broke our leaves and hunted our birds
The slits in his eyes smiled when we cried
Now our glass jungle is gone.
3. Wanting More
Yearning
Eats me up
Leaves my corpse in the sun
Lets me rot
4. Starry Eyed
Your starry eyes watch the sky
Reflections of the night dance
I’m sad that life doesn’t always work out
Please know that I’ll keep loving you in my own way
Don’t ever lose that starry-eyed hope
I pray the next girl can love you better
Ok, critique please! Didn't spend a whole lot of time on these, I just typed them up real quick-like. Thanks!
Comments
Thank you so much!
Thank you so much!
"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond
Running theme here
Running theme here is.....
Want?
Haha.
These were really good. Especially that first one.
And the last one reminded me of U.N.I by Ed Sheeran (e.g. HIS:God made another one of me/to love you better than I ever could and then Yours: I pray the next girl can love you better)
Great job, Erin! As always--keep posting! ;)
Haha, thank you! Hm, I hadn't
Haha, thank you! Hm, I hadn't heard that song in forever! I was actually inspired by a couple of songs by Lana Del Rey-Starry Eyes and Black Beauty. Also, I love your quote.
"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond
The last...
The last is my favorite. This were enjoyable and I ate them up, just like Wanting More and The Hunger.
Very thought provoking.
Loved 'em!
"Here's looking at you, Kid"
---
Write On!
Thank you!
Thank you!
"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond
Wow, that was lovely! I liked
Wow, that was lovely! I liked it a lot, especially the last two lines...it's a very bittersweet poem and I absolutely *loved* it!