Did I read the stories wrong
Were all the old songs untrue
The tapestries woven, long and grand
Told endings that I thought would be
I didn't think that I would stumble
Or get lost within my feelings
Yet Love, dressed in her gown of red and white
Danced before my eyes, transfixing my gaze
Passion pushed me near her,
I took her hand in mine,
With her I danced for hours as the stars shined
Joy sweeping through me like a warm summer's breeze,
Nothing as sweet as when I kissed her soft cheek
As dawn began to break, it's light inking over the sky
She suddenly withdrew, gave me a note and said goodbye
I chased after her and ran for some time,
Not understanding what I'd done, why I'd been left behind
She faded like a spirit, into a mist gray and thick
Into the mist I wandered after,
Joined by Sorrow and his friend Hurt
They told me of my error,
And how I'd been fooled by her
Love they scoffed, was a trickster,
A ninny, that only the weak fell for,
And then were robbed of every penny
My heart I held, now a crack in it's side,
As Sorrow's other friends,
Anger and Bitterness, also came to rant and jive
I thought Love lived forever, yet she dies in a night
Leaving me alone, lost and blind
For days I wandered, on a trail of broken dreams
Till a man appeared nearby and joined me
His voice was gentle and kind, I felt we'd met before
Like a friend I'd forgotten, who'd come to stay
And as He spoke, Sorrow slowed his pace,
Hurt stopped chattering,
And Anger and Bitterness left for another place
With them no longer clouding my mind and sight,
I remembered the note that Love had given me
I unwrapped the paper, the words while faded,
Still rang clear and unabated
"Too soon we met, too soon we danced,
We had to be lead apart,
But when seasons turn and stars are aligned,
In the fiery brightness against the dark night sky,
We'll be brought together when the time is right
Be wary and on careful watch,
For the one whom you'll find me in,
For she was destined for you in heaven,
But wait till you find her, don't seek me before then,
Otherwise Sorrow will return and I'll have to leave again
Stay close to the One who walks with you,
He's always been there, the light of truth
Weaver of time, destiny and me,
For through Him I am and always will be"
I held the note close to my chest and breathed a sigh,
Then looked at the Man,
Who'd driven away Sorrow
And all his friend's lies
Such care I'd never seen, such kindness never felt,
In His shining, perfect eyes
Forward on the path we walked,
Talking of everything that was, is and was to be,
And in His presence I felt Love somehow there,
singing softly to me
Comments
wow!!!
is such a nice poem! great job! i've always loved poems that use personifacation...if that's even what it's called...
************************************************
"Jesus is like Tide. He washes away what others leave behind." Anonymous
“Oh Ronnie! I can’t believe you’re a prefect! That’s everyone in the family!” said Mrs. Weasley.
“What are Fred and I, next-door neighbors?”
–George Weasley
This was kind of depressing,
This was kind of depressing, but very well written. It's very nice. I like it.
Not to be rude or anything, but where did you come from? I've never seen you on here before, then you emerge from the dark with such a lovely poem. That hasn't been fair to the rest of us, now has it?
"Here are the beauties which pierce like swords or burn like cold iron." C.S.Lewis
"It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died. Rather we should thank God such men lived."
General George S. Patton
WOW
I can only echo what everyone else has said...
*****************************************
"To produce a mighty book, you must choose a mighty theme. No great and enduring volume can ever be written on the flea, though many there be that have tried it." -- Herman Melville
I'm stoked...
Thanks everyone! It really makes my day you found this poem to be that good. I was a little concerned it would come off a little overlong and windy. If there is one fear that constantly besets me, it's the fear of overwriting. ;) Glad I didn't need to worry about it for this piece after all. =P
airlia, in the interest of providing some enlightenment in regards to my seemingly shrouded origin, ;) I've actually been a member on the apricot pie forums for a while and also have lurked around here enjoying the excellent work that's frequently posted. I've written poetry on and off for a bit too, but finally got the nerve to submit one to this site. For a little more background info, I'm the oldest of 8 kids, love writing, photography and filmmaking, am addicted to tea and currently hang about the Washington Seattle area.
Oh, and I know this piece is for sure on the sadder/tragic side of things but just so you know I really am usually a pretty upbeat fellow. =P Just to give a little context, I wrote this during a period when I actually went through in a way what the poem describes, a couple friends of mine also did this year, which is what inspired me to try to express the nature of finding romantic love for the first time, that amazing bliss and joy you feel, but losing it suddenly because it may have been premature and with the wrong person. Afterwards the pain and bitterness which follows, then finding peace, healing and love in Jesus who's always there and trusting that He, as the weaver of time, destiny and love itself will lead you to the person that is meant for you and in him or her you'll find love again. =)
Thank you for that little
Thank you for that little bit of imformation. Very kind of you to introduce yourself.
You amuse me greatly. Sarcastic people are the best.
Once again, great poem.
"Here are the beauties which pierce like swords or burn like cold iron." C.S.Lewis
"It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died. Rather we should thank God such men lived."
General George S. Patton
.....
No, it definitely wasn't over written. And I love the ideal.
I'm glad you finally decided to be a writer, and it's good to hear from you again, Ian. ;)
--------------------------------------------------
"We have been created for greater things. Why stoop down to things that will spoil the beauty of our hearts?" ~Mother Theresa
I love depressing poetry.
I love depressing poetry. This was really, really good. BTW, Ian, your picture reminds me a lot of one of my friends. Just mentioning it. Nice job.
"Life is a series of idiots all trying to be more profound than the last idiot. And in a moment someone will come along and try to say something more profound than what I have just said." - unknown, to me anyway.
"I always wonder why birds stay in the same place when they can fly anywhere on the earth. Then I ask myself the same question." - Harun Yahya
....
Thanks very much for your encouragement Brianna, I'm glad I did too and quite happy to be hearing from you again myself. =)
I'm also really glad you enjoyed it too Bridget, thanks for saying so. =) I look like one of your friends you say? Hmmm, now I'd be curious to see his picture. =P It would be fun to meet him.
Yeah, Ian, that would be
Yeah, Ian, that would be interesting. I can just see the look on his face. :-D
"California", he said, "is a beautiful wild kid on heroin, high as a kite and thinking she's on top of the world, not knowing that she's dying, not believing it even when you show her the marks." - Motorcycle Boy, from S.E. Hinton's 'Rumble Fish"
"I always wonder why birds stay in the same place when they can fly anywhere on the earth. Then I ask myself the same question." - Harun Yahya
...
Wow Ian, that was phenomenal. So many hidden beauties in all of the lines. I really enjoyed reading it...
:) Great to have you on here. It's fun that there are some of the same old people from the message boards as writers now.
_________________________
"When God takes something from your grasp, He's not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better and more amazing."
_________________________
"Sweet is the love that never knew a wound, but deeper that which died and rose again." - Mother Mary Francis
Beautiful!
That was a beautiful poem, Ian, and a great reminder to guard my heart, "for from it flows the wellspring of life."
Also a great reminder of the only TRUE, unfailing love to be found anywhere.
-----
“The venerable dead are waiting in my library to entertain me and relieve me from the nonsense of surviving mortals.”
- Samuel Davies
...
Wow......that was amazing.
Stay close to the One who walks with you,
He's always been there, the light of truth
Weaver of time, destiny and me,
For through Him I am and always will be"
That was my most favorite part. But I loved it all.
Great job.
--------------------------------------------------
"We have been created for greater things. Why stoop down to things that will spoil the beauty of our hearts?" ~Mother Theresa