Unfinished

Submitted by Madeline on Fri, 01/17/2014 - 18:18

I'm not ready for it to be over
I'm not ready for it to be done
If the best part was getting together
The worst part becomes moving on

And I know it must feel just as bad
And I know that it hurts on both sides
But to turn your head without granting a chance
Is it fair for just you to decide

It is staying with me and it hasn't yet gone
I'm trying to push it away
It's complete it's over it's ended it's done
But the unfinished feelings remain

Author's age when written
16
Genre
Poetry
Notes

Short little poem!

Comments

Maddi

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 23:38

Permalink

The first stanza was the best. It is SO true; it kinda stabbed me with its true fullness, if you know what I mean.

"If the best part was getting together
The worst part becomes moving on"

That is just....don't know how to say it. It's not lovely, nice, perfect or sooooooo-relatable. It's different. It's like truth. I like this very much.

EDIT: Actually, no, maybe the last bit is the best. The flow of this is *really* good. I really like this. I do.

Goodbye? Oh no, please. Can’t we just go back to page one and start all over again?” – Winnie The Pooh

Lucy Anne

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 23:41

Permalink

The rhythm is so good; when I was reading this, I half thought this was a song, but then you said "a short little poem"!

"It is not the length of life, but the depth of life." Ralph Waldo Emerson

Madeline

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 23:48

Permalink

Girls, thank you so much. I totally didn't expect such good feedback, so double thank you!

Maddi--I'm glad! I know it's really simple, but it seems like it was effective. It is one of my more honest poems, so I'm glad you felt that as well. Thank you!

Lucy--Thank you for commenting! I really appreciate having your feedback as well.

Kassady

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 23:50

Permalink

Um... well... this poem made my chest constrict and my heart feel heavy, because it felt... REAL. I related to this poem... a lot more than I thought... and it hurt... but it's good! It's really, really, really good!!! Well written and full of depth! The fact that you made me feel so strongly means it's done really well!
Well done!

"Here's looking at you, Kid"
---
Write On!

Madeline

Fri, 01/17/2014 - 23:56

Permalink

Oh, wow, Kass. Thank you so much! I really was not expecting this kind of feedback. Yay! And I'm glad it felt real. Although, please, don't let your soul die. If it does I'm not going to get to see you! Wahhh. :(

E

Sat, 01/18/2014 - 13:24

Permalink

I agree with Megan-the rhythm was awesome. I really liked this a lot. Especially: "It's complete it's over it's ended it's done/But the unfinished feelings remain"

"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond

little woman

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 03:15

Permalink

This was gorgeous. The whole thing was beautiful, but I especially liked the first stanza. And I agree with Maddi - it is like Truth. This is one of my favorite things I've read lately!!! Thank you for sharing! :)

The most astonishing thing about miracles is that they happen.
-G. K. Chesterton