I: One of Those Days
it's one of those days
I hate the ways
I lose control over myself
emotion courses
flooding my veins
and then when it's gone
all that remains
is a painful sense of emptiness
loneliness
today is one of those days.

II: told
what is it
about being told I'm beautiful
that has such a profound effect?
how can those words
carry such weight
influence my day
my whole sense of self worth?
I really don't care
how the weight got there
with this expanding bubble inside
I feel as though
I can face the world.
why does it matter
really it doesn't
but still
I feel as though
I could fly.

III: He Loves Her
he loves her
more than words
he knows how to say

she loves him
to the point that
each breath is a prayer of joy

he was empty
before she came
she was broken
bruised

now he has found
what was missing
that beautiful spark in life
and she is healed
and protected
safe in his loving arms

IV: Corridors
staring down this hallway
a corridor of forgotten dreams
of what-ifs, of stale hurts, of painful mistakes
looking at my life so far
getting lost in the past
opening each door
an episode of my life
forgiving, forgetting, finally realizing the truth
I draw away
those who live in the past become ghosts
and face my future
an unknown void
frightening, terrifying, unresistable
I must go there
I have no choice
I must choose which path to follow
and whether to make my own
my heartbeat now quickening
I step into the nothingness
backed by my past
I brave the future
my future.

V: caught
caught in a trap
she cannot escape
fighting for freedom
for peace
for sanity
naivete brought her here
fear now controls her
life is a specter
a demon she cannot cast out
a shadow to vast to have an end
still she loves him
couldn't leave him
even if
it were possible
thriving and dying by turns
loving him
unexplanably pulled
irresistibly pulled
securing her own prison
her prison of fear and feeling

VI: perfect day
a soft grey sky
of hazy clouds
temperatures matching my own
a gentle breeze
caressing my hair
one of my favorite kinds of days

VII: you know
you know best the ways
to hurt me
tear my world apart
with you, I am vulnerable
you know every secret
you've seen my pain
you know my fears and joys and hopes
with you, I can be me
you hold the power
yet with you I am safe
trusting you with all of me
I rest in your arms
I rest in your heart
I give myself to you

VIII: This Story
waiting for this story to begin
waiting to move past the prologue
wondering what will happen
in this story-life of mine
will it be sad?
will I be a good character?
will I have a good character?
will it be a story to read over
and over again?
I can't help wondering
if it will ever start
or if all of life is
just a prologue
or if I'm living the story now
and can't see it
so I wait
for something to change
for this story to start