{Okay, so I don't usually write fiction. It just dosen't really work out for me. But I was writing today, and I think it turned out okay. Please let me know what you think! I haven't done much editing yet, so forgive the slightly sloppy quality. Thanks!}
She stared at him in shock. Then she whirled around and ran. She ran not knowing where she was, or where she was going to. Blinded by the past, she neither knew nor cared about the present. Over and over her memory recalled the moment. Dead. All dead. I should have been there; I shouldn't have left. They're gone. Dead. Circling through her mind, poisoning her dreams, these thoughts consumed her, and she ran until she could run no longer. Dropping on a mossy bank, she slept, and the first tears fell.
* * *
A girl lay sleeping, cradled by a tall tree. To one side, a stream. To the other, a verdant grove, silent but for the light breeze teasing the treetops. Kindly eyes watched the girl, sent on an unknown misson which would steadily grow clearer. Settling down to wait, the kindly one kept watch, and prayed.
Comments
I was just clicking around when I saw this
I think this is really good. You tend to write very little but put so much meaning into your sentences...which is fantastic!
There are some grammar mistakes and long clauses that are placed in wrong places, but I suppose it's alright since you said you didn't edit it yet.
Although this is short, I am interested for more! :)
Keep writing!
BTW, I love your profile picture and your user name! :)
"It is not the length of life, but the depth of life." Ralph Waldo Emerson
Ditto to Megan....
I love it.
"Over and over her memory recalled the moment. Dead. All dead. I should have been there; I shouldn't have left. They're gone. Dead. Circling through her mind, poisoning her dreams..."
Great. :) Just clicking on your profile, here. :D
Goodbye? Oh no, please. Can’t we just go back to page one and start all over again?” – Winnie The Pooh
I was just clicking around when I saw this
I think this is really good. You tend to write very little but put so much meaning into your sentences...which is fantastic!
There are some grammar mistakes and long clauses that are placed in wrong places, but I suppose it's alright since you said you didn't edit it yet.
Although this is short, I am interested for more! :)
Keep writing!
BTW, I love your profile picture and your user name! :)
"It is not the length of life, but the depth of life." Ralph Waldo Emerson