I: Musings on the Future
my future is blank
anything might happen
my life is empty
despite the past I carry
"the youth are our future," they say
now I know why:
our lives haven't begun
it scares and excites me
this foggy vast expanse
is constantly changing
my future is uncertain

II: scared
I'm scared, you know,
of uncertainty and pain and loneliness
of my plans falling apart
I don't want to be this way
I want to be free
and sometimes, I am,
before I am once more enveloped
smothered in a fog of fear and stress
looking to the stars to find a way out
crawling, running, weeping, praying
following those stars
hoping the fog will not blot them out
before I break free
and can see my stars clearly
my stars leading me on

III: muffled time
bundled up
inside the car
all alone
inching along the ice
snow falls around
frozen wipers toil to help me see through the dark
music plays
softly
yet all sound is muffled
silence has fallen
silence in the midst of life
beautiful and terrible
time slows
life is precious
life is short
reminding me how much
with each glimpse of fatality
car slide
my heart stops
I inch more slowly
creeping toward warmth
toward light
toward safety
toward home

IV: No Longer a Child
looking back at all I've loved
the people, the music, the memories
and how they've all shaped me
I've grown up, you see
not nearly enough
but I'm no longer a child
and soon I won't be young
what will I do, with this time alloted me
I don't know how much I have
what will happen in this life of mine
this life
my plans dreams hopes fears
signified by what I have loved
and what I love

V: Sunlight
sunlight pouring down upon me
warming my soul
bringing peace
if only for a moment
gold seeps through me
illuminating my dark
all shall be well
and I shall be
and all shall be well
in this sunlight-bathed moment

VI: I have loved
I have loved
when it hurts
when I've been disappointed
I have loved illogically
I have loved hard
holding on when it crumbles before me
I have loved long
years and years
I have loved softly
I have loved secretly
I have loved them
I have loved you
more than you know
sometimes this love lies dormant
sleeping but still existing
I have loved for their sake
I have loved for a kind smile
I have loved in an instant, and I have loved gradually
I cannot control it
this love consuming
oh, this much, how much
I have loved