I: Falling
I'm falling hard
I'm falling fast
in too deep
I hope it lasts
these thoughts of you
won't let me be
I wonder if
you think of me?
I'll find a way
to where you are
you know the way
into my heart
only time will tell
I guess
but until then
I'll be a mess

II: changing
what is this feeling
growing inside
I'm not who I once was
I no longer hide
from fears
or dreams
I hide with them
tucking myself away
from life
temporarily
to think
to stop and breathe
I've stopped caring
as much
about what people think
those people around
strangers
faces standing out starkly
I feel connected
and yet, removed
disinterested obsession
with every aspect
of this rapidly changing life

III: If
sometimes I feel
as if I've failed myself
by not accomplishing all I had planned
by not having the life
I'd thought I would
I'm happy with where I am
mostly
but sometimes I wonder
what if
things were different
I was different
where would I be now?

IV: paperclip girl
she's a paper clip girl
twisted, bent
used, forgotten
lost among the rubble
of another's life
desperate to be chosen
loved
to unbend
but when she straightens
she must discover
what she is good for
she must discover
who she is

V: a natural disaster
so many changes
looming near
waiting to overwhelm me
drown me
I absorb the poison
both needing it and fearing it
fearing myself
all that I once could trust
shakes and crumbles
an earthquake
redesigning my life
piecing together the new and the old
salvaging what I can
trying to let go of what I can't
anticipation through my tears
staring at the sky
trying to forget
trying to get lost
but if I get lost
and can't find my way back
will you come find me?

VI: Growing Up
the scary thing
about growing up
is moving on and leaving
because sometimes
the right choices
don't seem so right
sometimes
making those choices hurts
hurts you and the people you love
and creates distance and struggles
sometimes
the right choice for you
is hardest on you
tearing you apart
seams unraveling inside
sometimes
doing what's best for you
is the hardest thing you'll ever do

VII: fool's heart
I'm such a fool
with a fool's heart
creating attachment too fast
for a boy who never would last
I jumped right in
teased with Love
stretched it, pretending this could be real
and now, it's over
and my fool's heart barely aches
when will I learn
that to want to be in love
does not true love make