I: Chaos

my heart breaks
like falling glass
shattering on the ground
my mouth still smiles
not a tear falls
yet inside all is chaos

a few words spoken
broke my heart
tore it apart and trampled it
and here I am
miserable and laughing
with a hole in my chest
where my heart used to be

II: Masks

I wear many masks
I conceal myself

from the world

I'm not shy
just self-consious
you see,
I am afraid
that if you look deep inside
if you lay my soul bare
I won't be what you expected
and you won't like me anymore
to some I take off
more masks
than to others
but at the base
when all my masks are gone
I am not so sure
I recognize myself.

III: Princesses in Disguise

I've always been enamored
with princesses in diguise
these beautiful women
who seem different
who I suppose
are consious of their dignity?
those women who smile
at sticky faces
who bear every sorrow with grace
those women who don't seem as if
they can be quite real.
You do not often see one
but when you do
you never forget it.

IV: Makeup

yo would scoff
if you knew how long
it's been since I went outside
without makeup on
but you see
with the makeup
I feel more like me

now you know
please don't laugh
but this is why
I am sometimes
most vulnerable
at sleepovers
at the pool
and other
non-makeup
places.

V: Precipice

standing on the height
gazing down below

i fell

deep into the blue
studded with stars
crying out to God

caught

by dark branching arms
cold trees broke my fall
a million miles away

blown

a soft warm breath
brought me down
and i was safe

VI: Cinema Retrospect

watching your smiling face
forgetting you ought to be dead
or at least you will be
in a season or two

watching him watching you
knowing now his love
knowing how your love for him
will grow

re-living favorite moments
anticipating a scene
reveling in forgotten wit

retrospect makes
for an interesting view
bittersweet
heightened
comfortable
I am not sure
whether it is better the first time
or the times after.