Welcome to Deplorable Cultus Anonymous, an organization devoted to helping individuals break free from slavish addiction to fanatical obsessions that devour an individual’s ability to judge the value of literature.

THE TWELVE STEPS OF DEPLORABLE CULTUS ANONYMOUS

1.      We admitted our lives had become unbearable due to our powerlessness to stop squealing over ‘hot,’ ‘attractive,’ or ‘cool’ fictional characters. This obsession had spread to, but was not limited to, the writing of ourselves into the story, the desire to marry fictional characters, and the excessive wearing of themed attire.

2.  Came to believe that only a Power greater than ourselves—or our favorite authors-- could restore us to sanity.[i]

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, the great Author of Life.  

4. Made a searching and fearless inventory of ourselves and our writing.

5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, other human beings, and the fan community at large  the exact nature of our wrongs.

6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character, especially as relates to fictional charries based wholly on ourselves and our selfish desires.

7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

8. Made a list of all persons—literary and physical-- we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.[ii]

9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do

so would injure them or others.

10. Continued to take personal inventory and promptly admit when we slid back into our obsessions

11. Through careful study, thoughtful analysis, and gradual withdrawl from objects of obsession, to draw closer to the greatest Author of all, and  refocus our attention on the great literature of the world.

12. Having had a literary awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to

carry this message to other fangirls and Suethors[iii], and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

[i] Whether or not sanity is preferable to insanity is a discussion that must be left to other groups

[ii] Making amends with objects of fangirl crushes doesn’t consist of writing thousand-word epistles throwing yourself on the charrie’s mercy.

[iii] The  term ‘fangirl’ is used merely for ease of expression and is not meant to imply anything about the ratio of females to males among the Deplorable Cultus. The term Sue-thor is used to represent authors who use their writing skills to write inferior characters, often based on themselves, into poor fanfiction.