The Girl Called #11: Friends

Submitted by j. Glen pollard on Fri, 11/15/2013 - 03:06

This is based on a true story. I wrote this story for a friend of mine last year who plays soccer in college. She wanted to be 11 years old in this story because that's her number. She was also 11 when bother her parents were still alive. My friend's Dad passed away from cancer when she was 12 and her Mom from the same disease when she was 18. This story is dedicated to her Mom, a well known and loved woman. She was also a Mother figure in my life, I have to admit myself. I hope you enjoy Hanna and her story of soccer as my friend did herself. -J. Glen Pollard
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~ * * * *~

HANNA WALKED down the hall. This new school was big and it seemed much bigger to an eleven-year old; especially when they had been homeschooled since they were five
Hanna was strolling when suddenly the school bell rang—RIIINNNGGGG!!! All of the students started hustling and bustling, hurrying to get to class. One student clipped Hanna’s arm, dislodging her stack of books and sending them skidding across the floor. Hanna crouched down to pick them up. Some of them got stepped on but the one Hanna cared about the most was the purple folder that held a flyer. On the top left corner of the flyer had her name, neatly written in cursive and the flyer itself read:

_________________________________________________________________
Hanna Anderson

Soccer Tryouts

Do YOU have have the courage and guts to try out for this school’s first girl soccer team?
Tryouts start from 3:30-4:30 pm., September 14, here in the William Rhode Christian School soccer field.

WILLIAM RHODE CHRISTIAN SCHOOL
_________________________________________________________________

Hanna had kept telling herself, You’ve gotta do it, you’ve gotta do it! This is your only chance to make yourself popular in this new school. You can do this!

“Hey!” Came a voice from above. Hanna looked up. In front of her was a dark skinned boy with curly hair and to top it off, cocoa eyes. “Need help with that?” he asked. Hanna blushed but shook her head.

“No thanks, it’s fine.” But the boy went on his knees and helped her pick up her books. As he handed her her folder, the flyer fell out of the pocket and into his hands. He smiled and slightly laughed.

“Ah! So you want to join the soccer league, huh? I’ve heard that soccer is hard, you know.”

Hanna nodded.

“I know, but I still think that I have a chance.”

“I know you do, but still, it takes hard work and commitment. Hey, take it from me, I’m the boys soccer VIP.” Suddenly, Hanna’s mouth flew open. This boy who helped her with her books. This boy who encouraged her with soccer. This boy was—

“Cory Bruce!” Hanna exclaimed.

Cory shrugged as if he had heard this many a times. Hanna almost lost her breath.

“Wow, it’s great to finally meet you,” she said. “I’ve seen you in newspapers. Your team, the Wolves, are the greatest that I’ve ever seen.
So, you’re number 23, huh?”

Cory nodded. “Yep. And we have a game tonight after the tryouts. Wana come?”

“Sure, I’d love to!” Hanna said without a moment of escape.

Cory smiled.

“Good. Well then…. Seeyah tonight.” As he turned behind, Hanna suddenly remembered something.

“Oh yeah, where is the game?”

“Um... Oh yeah! Our field.”

“What time?”

“7:00.”

“Alright, seeyah then.” Hanna said. As she walked down the hall, totally excited that she actually met Cory Bruce, she realized how late she was for class! Quickly, she hurried to get to the classroom before she got detention.

~ * * * *~

Later at lunch, Hanna sat between a guy named Tony and a girl named Nicole (or Nicky for short). As they ate lunch, Nicky asked what time the school was suppose to end that day, with the tryouts and all. As Hanna dug through her folder, the flyer seemed to sneak its way out of the pocket and onto the table. Nicky gasped.

“Oh, you want to be the on the team too!”

Hanna wondered, Do I tell her, or will she laugh at me?

“Well.. Um, yeah, I guess.”

“Oh—my—goodness! So do I!” Nicky exclaimed. Hanna looked confused.

“Really? You do?”

“Yes! I always wanted to play since I was like eleven!”

Tony laughed. “You are eleven!”

That made them all laugh, which brought attention to someone: someone very
mean.

“Hey, you!” Said a snobby voice. Between chuckles and deep breaths from all of
the laughter, Hanna turned her head to look at a very not very nice looking girl.
Her dark blonde hair was perfectly combed and had a crimson streak over one bang. Her hot pink jacket matched her lipstick that she wore and her purple high-heeled shoes, and a "glamorous" purse to match. She was about 5.5 and had a very annoying attitude. She was gathered around by a group of girls just like her but faces showed that their meanness was being forced. Kind of like being constipated.

“Yes,” said Hanna.

“What’s all the racket about?” the girl demanded.

“What racket?”

“As I was gossiping with my girls all I hear are you three acting like a bunch of baboons.” the girl suddenly struck Nicky with an ugly look. “And also, Nicky, your hair is a mess. Also, don't trip over and fall in gym, or your mascara will run... again!” Then suddenly, the girl started to laugh. “And besides, how can you go so low as to hang out with Tony the Loser and the new homeschool girl! Hah!” The girl started to laugh even more, then abruptly stopped just as she started.

“Oh, so you want to join the soccer team too,” the girl said to Hanna in a soft voice. Hanna didn’t know what to say but the obvious.

“Yeah.. Are you going to join too——”

“WHAT! Why in the world would I join some STUPID soccer team, anyway!” the girl exclaimed. Then, she almost fell over from yelling and her cronies had to hold her back. He brushed her hair back them smirked.

“Anyway, I will be there at the tryouts—just to see you fail!” And then, as she had came, the girl left, with her maids following after her, leaving Hanna with her mouth, wide open.

“Who—was—that?” she asked, still in shock of what she had just heard. “And how had she known that I was going to the tryouts?”

“Easy,” said Tony. “You wrote your name on the top.” Hanna looked closer and realized that she had written her name in her own handwriting:

_________________________________________________________________
Hanna Anderson <------

Soccer Tryouts

Do YOU have have the courage and guts to try out for this school’s first girl soccer team?
Tryouts start from 3:30-4:30 pm., September 14, here in the William Rhode Christian School soccer field.
_________________________________________________________________

Hanna blushed, but continued.

“So anyway, who is that girl?”

Nicky sighed.

“That would be Erica Rhode.”

“Wait a minute,” Hanna interrupted. “You mean as in William Rhode, the name of
this school?”

“That’s the one. He was her great-great-great-great-great grandfather and for some reason she believes that most of the school is hers and runs it like a Queen Bee, with her little buzzing drones.” Nicky sighed again. “And I was one of them.” Hanna’s face turned confused, making Nicky laugh.

“Huh?”

“It’s a long story. Anyway, we better hurry or we’ll be late for class.

~ * * * *~

The game was that very evening. Hanna, Nicky and Tony strolled to the bleachers and sat down net to the other kids. The game had already started and the score was 3—4, the Wolves in the lead. Hanna, Nicky and Tony cheered with the rest of the crowd.

“Come on Wolves, you can do it!”

“Woohoo! Let’s go Wolves.”

“Let's go Wolves. You are the best! Very better, than all the rest! GOOOOOO Wolves!”

Tony and Hanna looked at Nicky curiously.

“What are you,” said Tony, “a cheerleader?”

Nicky shrugged and smiled. “I am really good at encouraging.”

Hanna smiled. “Sure Nicky.”

Suddenly there was a roar from the crowd.

“What? What?” asked Hanna.

Tony’s eyes were wide. “Bruce just dodged Davison, dribbled passed Johnson, gave it to #12; then got back the ball and scored! The Wolves have won! Greenwood is done for, now!”

Hanna groan, “Oh man, I can’t believe I missed it.”

~ * * * *~

The next day was the tryouts. Tony said that he would be cheering for the girls the whole time but when the time came, he didn’t show up. Nicky said that he had a lot of homework to do or something.

“Oh well,” she said. “At least we can both see how we do. Are you ready?” Hanna sighed. “I guess so, though I’m kinda’ nervous. You sure I should try?”

“Positive.”

“Hey, Anderson!”said a voice.

Hanna and Nicky groaned: Erica Rhode.

Again, she walked down the bleachers’ steps with her maids, holding her purse and making sure she didn’t fall down the steps with her high-heel. When she finally got to where the girls were standing, they realized that she had a small poodle, yapping at anything she saw. Around its neck said:

{MAID}

“Maid?” whispered Nicky. “Her name is Maid.”

Hanna shrugged. “Well, her owner is a Queen.” They both laughed then stopped as they saw Erica whispering something to her own servants, while Maid barked at the girls for no reason. I bet she showed a picture of me and trained it to bark whenever she sees me, Hanna thought. A whistle suddenly blew, signaling the girls to get on the field.

They all were in a single line. The coach and co-coach stood by a soccer ball. He would call their names by alphabetical order. They would run around cones, making sure they can knock over at least six to be on the team. Over that number were not qualified. The coach, Mr. Roberts, was a strong built, high-cheek boned, clean shaven man with a cap that said Tougher than YOU!

He yelled, “Alright ladies, settle down—first up is: Kari Abner!”

Kari walked up three yards from the ball. She took a deep breath, the ran as fast as she could. She dodged several cones, then knocked over three. There were fifteen of them, which left her with only twelve. She made past them and gave the ball a good kick. It flew through the air and landed in the goal. The girls cheered.

“Wow!” exclaimed Nicky. “She’s good!”

“Yeah! And only three cones!”

“Yeah! And only three indepedy, tinie-winie widdle cones. Get real Anderson!” mocked Erica from the bleachers.

“Next up,” shouted the coach. “Hanna Anderson!”

“Yay!” Nicky said. “You get ‘em girl!”
Hanna breathed, then walked up to the ball. Her heart beat faster than usual. Her lunges exhaled and she felt like she was about feel like a hot-air balloon. But her leg automatically moved right.

Then left.

Then right.

Then left.

Her foot touched the ball and from then all it was like lightning. She legs moved to perfection. Her breathing relaxed. As Hanna felt more confident, she ran faster, and faster till finally she met the goal. She gave the ball a good kick and sent it flying to the net. In the back of her head, she couldhear the girls cheering. She walked nervously to the bleachers. She saw Nicky at the back of the line give her a thumbs up.

Hanna sat by the cooler and herself a cup of water. As she went to get the cup, another hand met hers. Hanna looked up and saw Calvin Bruce. How they were in this situation again, I don’t know.

“Hi,” he said.

“Hi,” she answered.

“I saw you out there. You were great.”

“Thanks.”

More silence.

“Are you usually this quiet?”

Hanna’s face turned red. “Oh, no! I mostly talk a lot.”

“That’s good.”

“How come?”

Calvin shrugged. “Nothing. Anyway, you wana’ sit with the rest of us and watch
the tryouts?”

“Of course.”

~ * * * *~

The next day, Hanna and other girls waited as Vice-principal Lucas put up the names of the girls’ soccer team.

______________________________________
NAMES FOR THE GIRLS SOCCER TEAM
Abner, Kari. Kent, Iris.

Anderson, Hanna. Luke, Tonya.

Blake Rachael. Martinez, Carmen.

Carter, Sandy. Marks, Vanessa.

Darwin, Dianna. Roberts, Jennifer

Evans, Kelly. Vasquez, Nicky

Evans,Cassandra.

Fox, Renée.
______________________________________

And so Hanna left, with a huge smile on her face.

Author's age when written
12
Genre

Comments

You wrote this very well! I especially liked the way you described the moments of her tryout; you could really feel the tension, and then the relief.

This isn't a very big deal, but in the paragraph starting “Hey, you!” has four successive sentences starting with the words "her," "her," "she was," and "she was." You might consider looking at other ways to start the sentences.

Overall, you did very well with this story, I really enjoyed reading it!