Chapter One.

Solitary

It must have been a dream, I thought. Nothing could happen to her. She's fine. But as my eyes unfogged themselves from their slumber, I realized I was in a cold, white room. I lifted my head up from the armchair’s side and saw that it wasn’t a dream. My Mom really had been in a car wreck. Her face was bruised and swollen. Tubes and needles were poked inside of her from every angle. Although the steady rising of her chest showed she was breathing, she showed no signs of waking up. This sudden realization hit me with a crushing force. I fell to my knees, hitting the concrete floor with a stinging pain as my hands flew down to catch me. Tears streamed down my face, unable to stop. “Mom. Wake up.” I pleaded. “W-wake u-up!” But no matter what I said, her body showed no movement. How could this happen to me? To her? I can’t live without her. “Don’t leave me Mom!” I fumbled to get up when I heard someone open the room door.

 “Are you alright, sweetie?” A nurse asked, grabbing my arm to support me.

“N-no! My Mom is in a coma.” I wanted someone to help her. Cure her.

“All her vitals are good.” She tried to reassure me, but her face was creased with worry.

“When will she wake up?”

“It’s really unsure. Sorry, honey.”

“Does she have any other injuries?”

“She has a broken collar bone, and a fractured shin.” She whispered, getting a needle ready for another round of injections.

“Is there anything I can get you? Do you have someone here with you?”

“No thanks-s. I do, but I don‘t know where he is.”

“Well, if your under the age of eighteen, you can’t stay here with no supervision.”

“Okay.” I said indignantly, and turned away from her grip.

“It’s just that we can’t have you as here when your so young still.”

“I know. My Uncle brought me here. He’ll be back.”

“Okay.” She mumbled, and left the room.

I walked over to side of the bed, and pushed my Mom’s fading blonde hair out of her closed eyes. I gazed into her injured, tired face, imagining her ocean colored eyes and her full lips opening to laugh, uncovering each laugh line. Tears were steadily falling down, dripping onto the white hospital blanket. “I love you.” I whispered, and kissed her cheek.

 I sat there on the side of her bed for what seemed like hours. I ran my memory of last nights tragedy over and over again through my head. . .

                                                                      ******

 “Anna!” MaryAnn called. “Honey, I’m going to get Chinese. You want to come?”

I walked out of my room and onto the first step of the stairs.

“No. But could you get the noodles?” I asked, clasping my hands into a prayer position.

“Sure.” She had walked over to the bottom step of the stairs and was holding a clear, plastic bag from her littlest finger, grinning sheepishly.

“Mom, what is that?” I grabbed the bag from her. Inside was a violet colored silky dress.

“Do you like it?” She asked, jumping up and down like a child.

 “You know I hate dresses. And I’m not going to prom.” I shoved the dress back into the bag and threw it on the kitchen table.

 “Anna. Come on now. You’ll have so much fun. You never do anything. Your practically older than me.”

“It’s just the way I am.” I jumped up onto the counter, a started to munch on Ritz crackers.

“Fine. Just think about it. I don’t want you to miss out on this. It’s a once in a lifetime experience.” She was throwing her rain coat on and fumbling around the kitchen looking for her keys.

“Mom.” I hopped down off the counter and grabbed the keys that were hiding under the newspaper and gave them to her. “You go then.”

 “I would if I could.” She laughed, and shut the door behind her.

 Instead of going back upstairs, I lounged on the sofa. I could see the gray, rain filled sky, and the blurry streaks of red being made by passing car headlights, and the droplets of water splashing into puddles through the window. No matter where you went in Arkansas, the weather would be unpredictable. Just yesterday it was hot and sunny.

 Suddenly, I heard the door slam shut, and a man yelling my name. I realized I had fallen asleep on the coach.

“Anna! Come, on!” I recognized the voice as my Uncle Jade.

 “What?” I asked lazily.

“She’s fine-but your Mom was in a car accident. Hurry up. Get your jacket on.”

 My heart shattered into a million pieces. The pain of feeling completely helpless seared through every part of my body. Without processing it, I was tugging on my jacket and running after my Uncle faster than I thought was possible. We were in his Jeep, and he was driving very fast.

“Where is she?” I asked, noticing that I was crying.

“She’s at Park Medical Center. She’s doing fine right now, but I want to get back. She’s not waking up.”

 His words raced across my mind, stabbing me with every syllable.

 ‘She’s not waking up.’

“What does that mean?” I asked, as he quickly sucked in a deep breath.

“She may be in a coma. But they said that is normal when you have had a tragic experience because it’s a way the brain can help protect itself.”

“Will she wake up?”

“They assume she will once her body has time to work over what just happened.”

He pulled into the hospital parking lot and held onto my shoulder as we walked over the road like he used to; when I was a child. “The stairs.” He said, and held the door open for me. As I looked up into his face, tears raced once again down mine. His eyes were red, and his lips were pulled into a straight line. I could tell he was in deep pain. Pain that I could nothing about now. But pain I knew I could have prevented.

We raced up the stairs. Him being taller, I had to take two at a time to keep up. As we reached the third landing, the air was cold, and the harsh environment of illness seeped up around me, pulling me deeper into a state of depression. Uncle Jade was asking each nurse how my Mom was, I stood there surrounded by people, but feeling completely alone.

“Anna. You can sit right over there.” Uncle Jade said, pointing to a gray leather seat in the corner.

“No! I want to see her!” I yelled, refusing to be treated like a child. I was going to be there for my Mom. I always have been.

“Anna. Listen to me.” He placed both his hands on my shoulders. “Your Mom is not in good condition right now. I will let you know as soon as you can see her.” My mind raced as I looked around the room to find where she may be. 

“No, Uncle Jade! I do not want to be treated like a child! I am her daughter.” I shrugged out from under his hold, and ran into the room I saw nurses pulling patients through.  The doors swung shut behind me and I was in a room filled with injured people.

I could smell copper and rust, which I had learned to translate into blood. I covered my mouth, searching for my mom. I had just glimpsed her blonde hair when a young, male nurse grabbed my arm.

“You can’t be in here.” He said, steering me back through the doors.

Uncle Jade was standing right in front of me, apparently arguing with a someone.

“Anna!” He said, and turned away from who I now realized was another nurse. As I saw him come closer to me with his arms open; all control was lost.

I fell into his embracing arms and cried as hard as I could. He picked me up and brought me over to the gray, leather chair. We sat there through the night, until finally I fell asleep.

                                                                   ******

I was brought back to consciousness when the room door opened once more. Anger flew through me at the thought of the nurse. But it was Uncle Jade.

“Brought you lunch.” He said, holding up a plastic, white container.

“Wow, I didn’t realize it was so late.” I said, grabbing the food, and falling into the armchair.

“Yeah, well, I didn’t want to wake you. It was a tough night.” He handed me a bottle of water and sat down in the chair next to mine. As I began drinking, I realized how thirsty I was. Uncle Jade glanced nervously at me, then back to his own food.

 “Uncle Jade?” I asked, after my throat was satisfied. “Do you know how the wreck happened?”

“Not exactly.” He took a break to pop what I noticed was an aspirin. “I was at work, and the police called me. And told me MaryAnn ha-had been in a wreck and the ambulance was driving her here.” His eyes were glazed, from the swelling of tears.

“Oh.” Was all I managed to say. Although he wasn't her brother, he was my missing fathers, he loved her just like a sister.  Uncle Jade has been there through that bad and the good, and I couldn't bear to see him hurt.

After I finished my lunch, I went into the bathroom. I tried to avoid the mirror, but since it was right at my height and plastered right in front of me, it was inevitable. My long, curly, black hair was in visible knots, my face was half black due to my mascara, and my skin was red and blotchy. I splashed water onto my face, and tried to scrub off the black makeup. Thoughts of how my mom's accident was completely my fault ran through me.  The guilt was hard to bear. My body started to shake, and my knee's were once agian caving in.  I fell to the floor.  I dropped my head into my hands, as my tears overwhelmed me. 

“Anna.” Uncle Jade called through the door.

“Yes?” I answered a few moments later, trying to retrieve some dignanty.

“You are free to stay here longer, but. .your Mom is fine right now, and you do have graduation rehearsal tomorrow.” I had completely forgotten about that. I feared, and obviously he feared too, that telling me was going to start another round of crying. Fortunately, my tear ducts seemed to be out of water. I thought about going to graduation only two days from now, and not having my mom. All the other seniors would have both their parents, but I would have none. Since my Dad had run off when I was born, and now my Mom was in comma, I had really bad luck when it came to parents.

“Yeah. I guess it would be best to go on home.”

“Ok.”

The drive home was quiet, and nothing like my last ride in his Jeep. I faded in and out of sleep, watching the rain droplets fall on the windshield. When we pulled into the driveway, I stared at the two story, yellow house. The wilting flower beds, that MaryAnn had planted when she happened to see a flower advertising commercial on TV, the stone walkway, that she had bribed Uncle Jade to do for her when I had slipped on wet grass, and the white mailbox with the flowers painted on the side when I was wanting to be an artist, were all reminders of my happy childhood. I only hoped that the rest of my childhood would be as happy.

“Anna. Listen to me.” Uncle Jade said, capturing my attention. I had a slight feeling he had already been talking to me. “Keep the doors locked at all times. Do not come outside unless I’m here and keep the phone charged.”

“Alright.” I said, and jumped out of his Jeep. “Where will you be?”

“I’m going to go grab some of my things then go back up to the hospital in case she wakes up.”

“Call me with any information.”

“I will. Don’t worry. Everything will be alright.” I held back a snort of disgust. That was a bold faced lie.

“Bye.” I slammed the door and prepared myself for solitary.