It’s the moments when
Pain settles in my spine
And hovers around my cerebral
Cortex
Causing my intestines
To shake
That I realize
How weak I truly am
I’m letting down my teenage dreams
Of me
I’m not Wonder Woman
I can only sit still
While shaking
But maybe strength
Is more than being able to run
Or to fight
Maybe strength is resignation
To the inevitable
Saying
“I can’t walk today”
And being okay with that
Maybe strength is
Finding things to be

Oh Lord my God I stand right here,
Do cleanse me now and draw me near.
I pray you'd purify my soul,
Please sanctify and make me whole.

Amazing Lord, oh wondrous God,
To Thee all glory and all laud.
Your mercy sav'd me from my sin.
A gift of grace given to men.

All glory be to Thee dear Lord.
Teach me to wield your holy sword,
Help me instruct and edify
Your image Lord to magnify.

"We're fools whether we dance or not,
so we might as well dance."
-Japanese Proverb

o~O~o

Make me stop smiling.
I dare you, for it is impossible.
Squash my dreams?
Inconceivable as they are to your small minds,
you are incapable.

I feel joy:
I dance, unashamed.

Experience sorrow:
I weep, unabashed.

Your small-mindedness will never move me.
I am unfazed by blind hatred.

Muriel Jean Goucher McLauchlan -- my grandmother -- was born on March 10, 1935 in Bremerton, Washington to parents Muriel and Bill Goucher. She prefers to be called by her middle name, Jean. Jean is a woman of extraordinary fortitude, which she doubtless first gained from being raised with an older brother and three younger: Vyron,  Arthur, Robert and Clyde, respectively.
Her childhood sounds appropriately idyllic for the time period, although she couldn't tell me much about it.

So obviously, I'll be fine.  Bridget means “strength”, after all, which I didn’t know until recently, but… you know, it works for me.  I’m glad my name means it, because nothing about me right now exudes strength.  I need something to give off that aura, ‘cause I’m sure as heck not.
The fact that I’ll be fine doesn’t mean I am.  It doesn’t even mean I believe I will be.  It just means I will be.  My survival instinct is too strong for me not to be okay.

Knight in home-dwelling, outpost by dark-swelling, fanfares and whispers…

Bears silvered horn, brass bugle grapples belt, heralds and wares…

Head lifted o’er battlements, hidden ‘neath darkened hood, fearless and wary….