IF YOU HAVEN'T READ EITHER GREATER LOVE OR A STRONG FAITH THEN DONT READ THIS UNTIL YOU HAVE. :D

I'm feeling those 8,481 miles more than before.
I didn't fully recognize how much I'd miss you
until you had already gotten up and left.
I find myself relaying stories about
all the funny things you've done
I miss your undeniable eccentricity,
nobody can claim that they have a friend like you.
4:40pm Texas time, 3:40am on the "treeless dune of sand".
I wonder if you're sleeping or if you're sitting up, awake,
thinking about coming home or about how your birthday
is tomorrow and you have to spend it in a country that you hate.

I. Roots
We’re making plans like I will see him again.
He’s acting like I will.
But where he’s going isn’t good. It isn’t good.
An airplane flies overhead and that’s where he’ll be in eleven days,
in the sky, flying through our uncondensed stratosphere,
thirty thousand feet above the ground, which is where I am planted
like a seed
spreading my roots and growing up,
learning to accept that my friends don’t have to stay planted with me.

Just like that. After seven-and-a-half years, eight drafts, countless revisions, and a title change, my first novel is now published and available.
Finally--finally!--after all these years, it's 100\% complete and out there on the market for real.

*WARNING* Some mature thematic content. There is mention of drugs and other forms of abuse, which is obviously not put in a positive light. It's a pretty dark storyline, but the story itself is not particularly dark, if that makes sense.

If ever a dream I've dreamed,
I dream here all alone.
I dream of things revealed,
Of happy hearth and home.

I make up castles in the air
Filled with voices that I love,
Feet pittering here and there,
Always stay, never rove.

Why are my dreems so sweet?
A hazy image with no face,
Children I may never meet,
Little house, cozy place!

If I wed my dreams will be reality,
No matter what face or home,
No matter what I see.
Oh! If it will ever come!

I. Bad, Bad, Bad
No, no, no, no
Not going down this road
Again
Friends are friends
It doesn’t matter
If they’re boys or girls.

II. What
Why is this jealousy
We’re not—
I’ve never even thought of you like—
Block my thoughts, don’t let them go
Any farther than they already have
“But seriously, she’s too old for you
She doesn’t even speak English,”
Laugh it off
But wow, I really don’t want you to
See this woman ever again.

"Because I'm obsessed with you,"
She says, we all laugh
"No, just kidding, that's Erin
I'll leave you two alone now."
And I am so grateful that you just
Let it roll off like you didn't hear her
Even though you probably know
She's right.

1. Unnecessary Sharing
He slides his eyes sideways to capture my reaction
I work hard to keep my face unchanged
It’s okay, no big deal
I didn’t ask for his opinion anyway.

2. Emote
Your face is an open book
You can transform into someone else
In an instant
I’m getting tired of trying to keep up
With your mood swings and changes
It’s too hard to help somebody
Who is so far gone.

I. Regress
I wanted her to turn around
So I could see her face
Confirm in real life
My biggest suspicion
That she was as pretty as she looked
In his pictures
I had met her once, before all of this
She was pretty then, but I hadn’t paid this much attention
I recognized her by her red-gold hair
Neatly curled and tapering down near her waist
Her voice was sweet and smart
I wanted her to turn around
But then she followed him out the door.