I'd be a liar if I said the want was never there
To talk about nothing like we used to
But I don't think either of us are the same people
Judging from what I've heard
I'd speak up now
Stand up
Be more diplomatic
If the need presented itself
But it won't.
And you--
You will always be the type to choose
A romance over friends
That were willing to stand by your side
But I just don't think you saw it
But then again
Longevity
Taunted us both
And maybe that was something
You knew

To hear your name is to
Step out of my consciousness
My keen sense of presence
Knitted to my surroundings
I am tied at every string but
Snap
Go the fingers and it all
Falls away until I'm levitating
Detached from all the people and the places
That have been interweaving
I'm watching
Listening to things about you
Learning who you're being
And I just find myself thinking when
I'm released
To jerk back down into my body
Snapped to attention
The vertigo receding

"Matty, dear, would you please sit still?" Mrs. Lee asked in exasperation.

Matty cast a guilty look up at her mother. "Sorry," she said, knotting her fingers in the leaf-green skirt of her gown in an attempt to control her fidgets. "Nerves."

**PLEASE SEE NOTES BEFORE READING**

Also, I'm going to provide occasional commentary. Because I'm pretentious, and I like to amuse myself.
____________________________________

thirteen
6-17-13

I don’t know
I wish would you’ve asked me
I’d have told you I didn’t
If you just would’ve asked me

it hit me now
like a mac truck
my clothes still smell like you
i'm burying my nose in my sweater
so that maybe i can memorize
your crisp cologne
"i'm not leaving yet," your muffled voice in my shoulder
"i know, i'm just sad," all i could muster
your arms tight around my ribcage
i was grateful that you knew
i needed to hold on for a while
then rush out the door as fast as i can
throw myself into the front seat before
i lose it
the torrential downpour
the not ready to let go

***Read notes first :) ***

**Please see notes before reading**

I See Him
by Me

Verse 1

He’s funny
That’s the first reason
He’s witty
I’d love to tease him
To have
His eyes
On me

I’m selfish
Don’t need a reason
I’m lying
I don’t believe it
Even for
For a moment
That it’d be

Anything

Chorus

i would say

i would say that this house is
too chilled in the winter air
and that i'd really just prefer
a really strong cup of coffee

but i'll take the tea all the same

i would say that you never
really told me why you picked
up your things and left
without any words

but i wouldn't understand anyway

i would say that this line is
taking too long--do you really
need to get that five cent
discount on hot dogs?

but it wouldn't accelerate the process

It is a slow fall into bed. Finally my back hits the slimy comforter.

I lie at the silty bottom of the expanse looking up at the mud-green sky. Bubbles froth out of my mouth: little popping balls of glass, each one containing a breath of my soul. I keep them in as long as I can, and part with them regretfully like the click of a clock.

Nothing speaks. Not I, not anything. A baby pinecone, lodged in the sand. My shoulderblade against it. My hair balloons out like the syrupy petticoat of a jellyfish. Gelatinous non-polyp.

I. It Makes Sense
It sounds corny but you just
Get me
Without having to try too hard
I don’t have to pretend,
I don’t have to dumb myself down
I love the fact that you use
Words like ‘altruistic’ in regular conversation,
Send me six-paragraph text messages,
And you like to watch movie trailers
Even if you don’t want to watch the movie
Do you know how often I find another person
Who shares a weird hobby with me like that?