The old man sighed upon what his deep blue eyes saw….
He remembered the days when he would laugh at the thought of a wheelchair fitted for him, he was only a boy back then.
He remembered the days when he could look into the mirror and see a handsome young man. He sighed again at seeing his wrinkled weather worn face and grey hair.
He remembered the days when he could run like anything. And everyone used to call him “the leopard boy”, he smiled at the memory, it was a pleasant one. Then he remembered the trips to the Doctors, and how they came to be more and more frequent. He remembered the mornings when it seemed that he was ready before the morning, now the morning seemed to be waiting for him.
He remembered the days of his own stubborn independence. But now, all these thoughts seemed like they were from centuries ago, or not even real, but a mere dream. It seemed like he was in a thick fog of misery. He then heard laughter. It was coming from outside. He hadn’t heard laughter for a long time. At first he felt like telling the person off for disturbing his peace and quiet, but then, he had a strange feeling. He tried to get up and stand, he fell back into his chair. But then the feeling came again, and so he tried again. This time, somehow, he was able to stand. Taking one step, he attempted to walk. He fell, but then got back up and tried again, he took two steps, then three then four, and now he stood at the door. He opened it. He looked out at the sun, and out at the world. The day seemed to be screaming at him to come out. He did not hesitate. He walked out the door, he detected where the sound of laughter was coming from; behind the large rose bush. He stumbled over to the bush and looked behind it. To his surprise he found three little boys behind there eating juicy red apples to their hearts delight. It didn’t take long for the boys to realise they weren’t alone. Their happy faces turned to a guilty childish look.
“Please, sir, don’t tell on us!” Said the youngest of the three.
“Tell on you? For what?” Laughed the old man, as if it weren’t obvious.
“Tell on us to Teacher that we’ve been eating apples instead of doing school.” Said the eldest.
“Ohh, I wouldn’t do that!” Said the old man seriously, “why wreck ones fun?” He added with a laugh.
The three faces smiled cheekily.
“So, can I have an apple?” The old man asked.
Three hands held out apples, and the old man was about to take them when they all heard a voice calling them from behind.
“Edward, Charles, Tom? Where are you, you sneaky little no good pupils!” The voice was impatient.
Charles, the chubby boy went red and in a low voice whispered to the others, “It’s teacher! Will she find us?”
But it was too late, for a lady came round the corner and found the boys.
“Well! Boys you-” She paused, shocked to see the old man there too. “Well! Sir, I did, I mean I did not mean to-”
The old man chuckled at the respect given from the lady.
“Please sir, accept my highest apologies from these, these”, the boys giggled at seeing their teacher so flustered, “Rascals, eating from your own apple tree without consent from you-”
“May I rudely interrupt with a question here, Madam?” The old man politely asked.
The teacher’s cheeks went even redder now.
“Yes, why of cause sir, forgive me for babbling.”
“What, may I ask, are apples for?” The old man gave a sideway wink to the boys.
“Why for eating, sir.”
“Then why shouldn’t these boys be eating them?”
The teacher’s shoulders let loose of their upright position, and she smiled.
“I’m sorry sir of my behaviour, you are quite right there.” she paused then added, “My name is Miss Eliza.”
“Should I then take the liberty to ask a favour of you, Miss Eliza?” The old man said, noticing the young lady’s deep green eyes.
“I should say you are entitled to, sir.” Her eyes gleamed curiously.
“Would you sit down here with us, and enjoy a sunny morning tea picnic of delicious red apples?”
“I would be charmed to, sir.”
“Pray, do not call me sir.”
“What then would you like me to call you?”
The old man, already knowing what to say, paused wisely.
“Call me, Leopard boy, if you please.”
I would like advice on all my work, but this one especially, thanks :)
Comments
:D
Okay, thanks for the tips and advice! I hopefully will apply it to my future writings! Oh and in answer to whether or not I will write a part two, I have started writing one, but I'm not completely sure yet as to whether I'll post it.
Do Justice//Love Mercy//Walk Humbly
Whoa!
Mikaela!! This is really well written! I didn't get to read this before you posted, so I was surprised! I enjoyed it very much; where did you get the idea? I'm quite jealous! ;)
You have quite improved, sis. Well done!
Small typo:
"why reck ones fun?”
Need to add a 'w'.
Great job over all!
Goodbye? Oh no, please. Can’t we just go back to page one and start all over again?” – Winnie The Pooh
Wow. Wow. This was so, so
Wow. Wow. This was so, so good. Especially for someone as young as you (but twelve isn't that young...just saying in terms of ages in this site). I did spot some grammar mistakes, but other than that, I really liked this. Your sister calls me her grammar editor...haha. I wouldn't have thought of making such a perfect ending. You did a great job foreshadowing (preparing the reader with information and then revealing it later on). You're also very descriptive! Welcome to apricotpie! -Megan
"It is not the length of life, but the depth of life." Ralph Waldo Emerson
This is a lot of fun! Great
This is a lot of fun! Great job & I look forward to reading more of your writing!
Thanks!
Thanks Maddi for pointing the typo out. And thanks Megan for the encouragement!
And, thank you Hannah! I'm looking forward to reading more of your writings too! :D
Do Justice//Love Mercy//Walk Humbly
Are you gonna post more of
Are you gonna post more of this? 'Cause I see a lot of potential for a really amazing novel in it, and would totally love to read more!
God bless you!
I don’t thrive off of chaos: chaos thrives off of me.
Great story!
First off, I have not been able to previously wish it, so now better late then never: welcome to apricotpie!
I liked the way you introduced this elderly man. You described things well. One thing you may want to note for the future, break your paragraphs more often. At the beginning the paragraphs were a bit big. Also the wording for the conversation at the end, I though, was quite good. I enjoyed the formality very much. But maybe that is just me...
I'm not quite sure what you are planning to do with this. Is this just a short story, or are you going to continue this a with a part 2? If you plan to continue it, it seems like a perfect place to end it, but if this is just a short story...you didn't really tie anything up.
Anyways, glad to see you on here, and keep writing!
"My greatest wish for my writing is that it would point you to the Savior."