hmmm....Sounds interesting!  I'm curious to know what the "Potion of all Curing" is....

Oh yes, and I like the line "there was one old man who was very quiet."  I don't know why, but I do. :)

I like this story very much, but i thought i'd point out a few errors (not in the story, nothing wrong with that, just in captilization and spacing)

Once upon a time there was a king and a queen. They were the king and queen of the empire Able. One afternoon all the people of Able could hear bells, not bells of sorrow but bells of joy! For the king and queen had a child, a daughter! They loved the little child and named her Kayla. there were great feasts all the people of Able were invited! Poor or rich penniless or noble men every one! But out of all the feasting and dancing there was one old man who was very quiet. He was just sitting there looking at the gold cradle that held the little princes, then in a flash he was gone.
 
Soon the little princes was three years old and she went and visited that strange old man right here needs a period and capitalization every day he told her stories of dragons and ogres (ALL OF WHICH would work better) which were all true. Little Kayla though none of these stories scared her was fascinated she wanted to see a dragon. Then one day she came in the shop and said “when I’m older I’m going to find a dragon and keep him as my very own.” “but Kayla they might eat ya” said Atayay “he wouldn’t eat me atayay, the dragon will like me.” “oh I’m not so sure about that little Kayla” “Atayay, I will be just fine with my dragon” Atayay gave her a look and she stopped talking about dragons. Atayas house was very strange it had many books and lots of potions. Potions scared Kayla and she didn’t touch them. Kayla was pretty with golden curlers and a beautiful dress while Atayay was skinny and didn’t have much hair. But Kayla didn’t mind. Kayla had no idea that Atayay would change her life.
 
 
To be continued….
 

Hi! 

I just wanted to say: I think this story could really be something good! I know you wrote it when you were younger but if you wanted to develop it, you might want to listen to Care and Kestrel. Constructive critisisim is really important when it comes to being an author. It really helps to improve you. 

I saw the story sort of jumps around at a fast pace. You may try taking a few of your scenes and slowing them down with more description and diologue. There is definite potential in this story. I really like Kayla. She's just that kind of character. 

For example: 

Soon the little princess was three years old. She often went to visit that strange old man, whom had become a distinct part of her childhood. Her favorite thing about him was his stories. He wove great tales of dragons and ogres which he often insisted were true. 

Kayla absorbed these stories and didn't fear them. But she did, however, wish to see a dragon with such longing. 

Do you see the difference? And I know I'm not near as experienced as some other writers on here, either. But I do like this story! 

I saw on one of the comments you had put the following: 

"but thank you for leting me know im not a writer, thanks. seriously." 

Believe me, you ARE a writer! All it takes is getting your thoughts and ideas put down on paper. You've really got to love it and I'm sure you do! 

Keep writing--

HomeschoolGirl :-)