Lily

Submitted by jaci on Thu, 03/12/2009 - 17:55

Lily

Up upon a branch I sat
Willow leaves blowing in the strength of wind
My eyes were keen on the ocean nearby
Where a little lily lay floating down
Its life slowly washing away
Then the lily’s strength built up and her little life slowly got stronger and stronger
A bell rang and three bees flew, flew to the top of a willow tree and back down
My eyes now are stuck on the yellow and black spots buzzing in the air
Then, a bee, when flying down, hit a tree
Was he dead?
Unlike the lily, he didn’t build himself up
He was dead.
My eyes automatically went to the lily in the ocean
I didn’t even realize it
Because I realized something way worse
The lily was dying
Its eyes slowly shutting and its poor body crying ‘til it fell apart
I started to cry
Was I seeing all this death because I’m dying?

The End

Author's age when written
9
Genre
Poetry
Tags
death

Comments

E

Sat, 03/14/2009 - 15:09

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Kinda sad, but still good.

This comment was made by Erin!

"Never, never give up. Unless you get really tired." -Ellen Degenres

"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond

Ariel

Sat, 03/14/2009 - 15:17

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Sad things are so fun to write poems about aren't they? One question--is your profile pic really you or what? Because it looks slightly like something that would be on Disney Channel:)
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"It's King Edmund, actually. Just King though. Peter's the High King. I know, it's confusing."--Edmund Pevensie

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"To produce a mighty book, you must choose a mighty theme. No great and enduring volume can ever be written on the flea, though many there be that have tried it." -- Herman Melville

Anonymous

Sat, 03/14/2009 - 16:28

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I like it.
old fashion girl, the picture is of Taylor Swift.

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“Dah-Dah-Dah-Dah- OH! I steal from the rich and give to the needy!"
-The one guy who's supposed to be Robin Hood in the 1st Shrek...I dunno his name! =]

Anonymous (not verified)

Sat, 03/14/2009 - 17:08

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Oh, ok....thanks for telling me Emily. I guess that tells you how much I know about things like that;) LOL I feel really dumb right now!!!
--Old Fashioned Girl

Anonymous (not verified)

Tue, 03/24/2009 - 00:50

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Yes this is Jacie! how should i know its girly? yes im a girl! but im not just girly i am a tom boy and dont really like dools and stuff....so how should i know its "girly?"

Alecia

Tue, 03/24/2009 - 01:34

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Yeah why is this "girly"? It doens't girly to me. And don't you dare say that's cause I'm a girl.....

"As first things always come first, I will start with the first thing" Kendra

It awoke with a shrill shreak that can be trnaslated "How dare you leave me in this bed, when I am asleep and helpless?" My sister

Alecia

Tue, 03/24/2009 - 01:36

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By the way I like your poem. I thought I already commented, but I guess not. Oh well.

"As first things always come first, I will start with the first thing" Kendra

It awoke with a shrill shreak that can be trnaslated "How dare you leave me in this bed, when I am asleep and helpless?" My sister

Ariel

Tue, 03/24/2009 - 02:00

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Ok, I must jump in here on behalf of Nate D. I can see how it would be "girly" to him. How many guys do you know that would write a poem like this (not that there's anything wrong with it)? Girls are more apt to write emotional things than boys.
Just thought I'd put "my oar in" real quick;)
------------------------------------------------
"It's King Edmund, actually. Just King though. Peter's the High King. I know, it's confusing."--Edmund Pevensie

*****************************************
"To produce a mighty book, you must choose a mighty theme. No great and enduring volume can ever be written on the flea, though many there be that have tried it." -- Herman Melville

Alecia

Tue, 03/24/2009 - 17:10

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I guess I can understand that. However I can see a lot of guys writing a poem like this. Like my brother, and some guy I new in E. Texas. Not to metion, William Shakespear, Lord Byron, and all those guys. I guess it's just where you come from, and what you're used to. I'm sorry.

"As first things always come first, I will start with the first thing" Kendra

It awoke with a shrill shreak that can be trnaslated "How dare you leave me in this bed, when I am asleep and helpless?" My sister

The Brit

Tue, 03/24/2009 - 19:42

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I'm taking sides with Jaci and Alecia. Think of Lord Byron. His poems were very sensitive, and he is considered one of the greatest poets. I think it's wrong to say that because a poem is talking about your inner feelings, that it is "girly". Could it be that men are feelingless? Somehow I don't think that this is so. Men are human beings, and as such they will have just as many feeling as women.

"It's not who you are underneath, but what you do that defines you." from Batman Begins

Ariel

Tue, 03/24/2009 - 22:43

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So lots of men (and boys) do write emotional and touching poems, I never said they didn't. All I'm trying to point out is that (from a boy's point of view...correct me if I'm wrong,Nate) when he reads something like the lines
"Its eyes slowly shutting and its poor body crying ‘til it fell apart
I started to cry
Was I seeing all this death because I’m dying?", he will automatically think of a girlish type emotions. Boys are emotion creature too, but often not to the extent of crying over a DEAD flower (sorry about that picture, Jaci).
------------------------------------------------
"It's King Edmund, actually. Just King though. Peter's the High King. I know, it's confusing."--Edmund Pevensie

*****************************************
"To produce a mighty book, you must choose a mighty theme. No great and enduring volume can ever be written on the flea, though many there be that have tried it." -- Herman Melville

The Brit

Wed, 03/25/2009 - 03:57

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Whatever, I liked it anyway...

"It's not who you are underneath, but what you do that defines you." from Batman Begins

Anonymous (not verified)

Wed, 03/25/2009 - 19:23

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I must back up Jaci, Alecia, and the Brit. Guys shouldn't be completely unable to relate to "girls" emotions. Why are you experienced in guys emotions? And, guys should be able to read somehting emotional without thinking, "that's so girly". I'm sorry, but I disagree. I must stand up for Nate-D in one area, and that is he said he still liked it. Other than that, I'm agaist his ideas of "girliness".

Ariel

Wed, 03/25/2009 - 22:01

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You're right, guys should be able to relate to the emotions of a girl. If they ignore or make fun of them they are most-likly an unfeeling or coarse person. God designed boys and girls with different types of emotions so that they could have different interpretations of the things in life. I am not an authority on boy's emotions at all, I just was stating somthing that I have observed with MOST (notice I did not say ALL) of the boys that I have met.
Nate did say he liked it which shows that he has an appreciation for the delicate and more emotional things of life. I happen to know him very well, so one of the reasons why I can understand why he thinks this is girly is because I know what his personality is like.
I don't want to start WWIII with this whole "girly-or-not" discussion, but this is my opinion on the subject. I should probably shut my mouth now or I'm going to dig myself a hole that I can't climb out of
------------------------------------------------
"It's King Edmund, actually. Just King though. Peter's the High King. I know, it's confusing."--Edmund Pevensie

*****************************************
"To produce a mighty book, you must choose a mighty theme. No great and enduring volume can ever be written on the flea, though many there be that have tried it." -- Herman Melville

Ariel

Wed, 03/25/2009 - 23:51

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Agreed;)

*****************************************
"To produce a mighty book, you must choose a mighty theme. No great and enduring volume can ever be written on the flea, though many there be that have tried it." -- Herman Melville

Brianna

Thu, 03/26/2009 - 01:08

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Jaci,
the beginning of this poem was amazing! Good job. :)

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"We have been created for greater things. Why stoop down to things that will spoil the beauty of our hearts?" ~Mother Theresa

I am Nate-Dude

Tue, 03/31/2009 - 23:20

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Holy cow!!! You guys Rock! (I say that because that was an awsome little battle over... well you guys had some great ideas!) Ok, just in my defence, of couse you guys couldn't see that as grily because your grils. ( I forgot that you don't see thing through my eyes.) And then I'm just playing with you. You may need to get to know me a little better befor you can start taking me litterly. (did I spell that right?) And I really did like that poem! Very well done!

Nate-Dude