eyes eyes brown

Submitted by Anna on Thu, 02/28/2013 - 03:01

brown-eyed boy met four-eyed girl
six years ago now? almost seven
so when the ones syrup deep shot through with glass grass green
meet mirror reflecting window strong in numbers
lip corners turn skyward without knowing why
she returns from hot sun country lovely shulammite dark
she has not set free one or two “dear my friend” letters but
always writing multitasking while they catch up she scribbles
he thinks this message is mine and so it is
but little does she know he can read upside down
head leans close on head (coarse charcoal falls near smooth sparrow) over
scattered words she’s picked up piecemeal painstaking like älskling
but he has bark brown moss green eyes for only
Dear,
I missed you.
Love.
Dear,
I’m here for you this time.
Love.
Dear,
When you fall in {*},
can I catch you?
{*}Love.
she stills for all at once he has holding hands
no yes or please or thank you only eyes eyes brown
the glasses as all that come off is enough
apart they are earth tones dirt and rain tree and bird
together (science and art numbers and words)
they will be spectrum

Author's age when written
17
Genre
Poetry
Tags
love
friendship
time
romance
Notes
1) I ran out of time for The Girl again. I'm almost back to my normal, not-applying-for-colleges schedule, so hopefully next month! Argh.
2) I'm so, so sorry I'm so behind reading your stuff. I have it all bookmarked, waiting. I may not be able to comment soon (or...ever) but I assure you I still love you all and your writing!
3) I wrote this in Julyish, stuck in the back of a driver's ed car. I hope it makes a modicum of imaginative sense.

Comments

E

Thu, 02/28/2013 - 03:39

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Ahhhhhhgggghhhhhhh......
This is just so perfect. I love the vagueness, but yet I could see all of the images. It was like an abstract painting.

"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond

Kassady

Fri, 03/01/2013 - 16:38

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OMG! Yes Erin! Ditto, ditto, ditto!
I read this poem and wondered what I was going to comment... read your comment and"It was like an abstract painting." really explains it well. It was a little hard to make sense of but also really bright and colorful. The imagery was so fascinating.
I love it... even though it doesn't make much sense :P LOL! It really is abstract and I haven't read anything like it before... I really like it! LOL!
Great job! Thanks for sharing.

"Here's looking at you, Kid"
---
Write On!

Maddi

Sun, 03/03/2013 - 23:57

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Well....this was like an abstract painting! (that was a ditto to Erin)

I just like how this is written...makes no sense, but visually it does...ish. ??

Goodbye? Oh no, please. Can’t we just go back to page one and start all over again?” – Winnie The Pooh

little woman

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 04:35

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This is a lot like an abstract painting. But also, it seems like more, it's deeper maybe? Like a flower. It might not look so complicated at first, but then you actually get close and is has a smell and a feel and little intricacies that you didn't notice before but you still could never understand it completely. Does that make sense? Anyway, I think this is like a flower.

And I feel some of your applying-for-colleges pain. I'm just trying to narrow it down to a few, and I'm going insane. I'm considering just moving to Europe (Rome maybe?) and immersing myself in local culture. Unfortunately, that doesn't pay very much, and it's not the most practical plan. :)

The most astonishing thing about miracles is that they happen.
-G. K. Chesterton

Sarah Bethany

Tue, 06/24/2014 - 02:43

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The poem you just posted sent me off to read more of your things. This is, again, a feast for my eyes and brain. Thank you so, so much. This needs to be in a collection of poetry book...