Ohhh, I've missed all you AP'ers! Here's a series of poems i've been working on, as always, nothing special!
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1. Understanding

Giver of all wisdom,
I don’t understand
Maker of my heart
I can’t seem to feel
Creator of all joy
Why can’t I feel it?

I think I am off
I think I am weird
I think I am different
I think I am wrong

Yes, Lord, I sin
Yes, Lord, I’m human
Yes, Lord, I wallow
Yes, Lord, I’m wrong

So, I ask of you on bent knees
Illuminate that place in me
Where I can finally your plan see

Grant me a biscuit of understanding
Grant me a trinket of joy
Grant me a moment of relief

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#2 Peace

Almighty God, Prince of Peace
Wash me, cleanse me
Grant me release

Release from Past and shame
Those things I always see
The pets I’d given names

Could I burn myself with fire?
Should I all pleasure flee?
Could I then escape the mire?

Almighty God, Prince of Peace
Tell me how your face to see
So this horrid guilt shall cease
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#3 Humility

A dismal fog of my pride
A murky swamp of myself
A thought that becomes consuming
A wave that pulls me under the tide

My vanity and boldness
My thoughts and ideas
My undoing behind closed doors
My inevitable outward coldness

What am I becoming?
What am I thinking?
What is this new time in my life?
What is this page I’m thumbing?

I see my woe
I see my error
I see my certain undoing
I see it from this new low

Let me feel small
Let me feel weak
Let me feel your all consuming strength
Let me feel you, the great God of all
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#4 Sight

I’m so different
I’m so off
I’m so unique
It hurts

I don’t see what others see
I don’t feel what they feel
I don’t pray how they pray

I pray with a pen
I sing with a keyboard
I worship in my head

Not with somber words
Not with a melodic voice
Not with a booming message

Dearest Lord show me if this is wrong?
Do you get the message through this page?
Do you hear my praise when I play?
Do you know that I care even though it stays in my head?

Why am I so different?
Why am I so off?

Is it wrong?
Is it sin?

Am I a failure?
Am I hopeless?

I feel so alone
I feel so betrayed
I feel so, so, so, off

This is all I know
This is how I talk

Lord, read this
Lord,give me peace
Lord, come to me
Lord, show me

Show me if I’m wrong because I’m different
Show me if I’m hopeless because I’m weird

Lord, let me feel you
Let me know that you made me like this
Let me know that I am doing okay
Let me know that I am not hopeless
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#5 Faith

You make this earth to spin
You make the sun to rise
You make my heart to beat
Yet, I doubt

You

The promise of tomorrow
The fullness of your plan
The joy that will come in it
Yet, You love

Me

Though I am so confused
Though I am so untrusting
Though I turn my face away
Yet, I stop

Myself

From abandoning my pride
From following your will
From letting myself truly be yours
Yet, I try

To

Be true and constant
Be a perfect lamb for You
Be the one who is called…
Faithful

Faithful

To you, O Perfect one
Let me be the one
Give me that power