Silver Caged Tragedy

Submitted by Elaine on Sun, 05/13/2012 - 04:54

(This poem tells a story of a girl who works as a slave at a wealthy but evil household. They make her life a living hell. So she decides to escape, but not before taking her revenge. The "silver cage" refers to her environment. Beautiful house, gorgeous garden, amazing art on the walls and all that jazz. But she is dying to escape.)

As the ivory white tiles glowed
The cashmere curtains fluttered
In the ghastly winter wind that blew
The fragile maids' teeth chattered

Outside, the snow fall is endless
The stars are all alight
Look up at the black canvas
Unaware of on-coming plight

In a split second, a choice was made
All of a sudden, destinies altered
In their eyes the light of life began to fade
Men's unwavering courage faltered

Choking, gasping, clutching for air
Never again would they take the cold for granted
Licked by the very flames from the demon's lair
Only cries for help they belted

The girl in the silver cage
With eyes as bright as day
Smirked as she watched the fire rage
The girl in the silver cage
Then walked away

Author's age when written
16
Genre

Comments

I read this twice--I didn't understand she had set the house on fire until the end. Wow! Very creepy. My only suggestion would be that the last two lines faltered out of your rhythm, but that's fine. (I'm not exactly one to be giving pointers on rhythm. LOL!) (^_^) Anyway, this was great! Fantastic backstory, and your descriptions were superb.

In the ghastly winter wind that blew
The fragile maids' teeth chattered

Loved that line!

-Homey :-)

Oh thank you very much! I really appreciate you taking time to read this and comment as well. I wrote this poem on a piece of paper at first, so the last two lines were sort of paragraphed (don't really know how to explain this, haha) to give a sort of dramatic effect? But yeah, I agree with you on it being out of rhythm. Thanks again! :)