Sometimes I like to take a peak at “Behind the Scenes”
Grab the remote and some popcorn and sit myself down
But usually I end up getting very disappointed…
And sit there for a while just staring with a frown.
I find out my favorite character is a thick-headed loser
The gal he falls in love with is really a brunette –
The director of this grand movie is just a lazy snoozer
Now I know there was something else, but I seem to forget…

Then there’s this guy, cute-looking, young lookin' dude
And whenever his name shows up on TV the fan-girls are glued
Omgosh, I can’t believe he’s divorcing for the seventh time!
Well! What I would do to him if he were mine!
And – the guy who does the voice of that cat in the cartoons
Did you know that he is actually fascinated with cocoons??
Now I gotta tell my buddies, this is something we can gossip about!
We’ll sit around – Oh did you know Rachel’s got a bf? Ugh – GET OUT!

Nowadays you can’t tell the difference between a belt and skirt
Woah – was she just being polite to him, or is she a flirt?
Well, the other day, when I was walking down the mall
I saw a girl running after someone, crying, “Come back to me, Raul!”
Did you know that Jimmy can’t swim in the deep side of a pool?
GOSH. That is like so totally NOT. COOL.
And that singer whom we all thought was just absolutely great
She a Clinton fan! Boy, will she receive her fate.

Oh my! *Thump–Thump* I’m in love with this blonde guy on TV!
I think he’s handsome, but my friends think he looks like ET…
And when I went out to eat with my pals the other night
I saw these two teenagers get into a fight!
And when one of them turned around in their chair
Can you believe that she dyed blue and green into her hair??
I knew I couldn’t trust her, because she’s got braces on her teeth too
She’s not one of us, no way. She’s not normal like me and you.

So I can fall in love, and dream of money, castles and boys
I’ll treat other human beings as if they were only toys
But how come when I talk about this kid in school I like
The one with real black, black hair – he’s got a spike
Well all my friends will just start teasing me then
And I’ll get upset; maybe break a blood vessel –“OH Hush up, Jenn!”
But when it comes to other friends and their idea of “neat”
I’ll just give them this look, “Ugh, puh-lease change subject, Pete.”

Why don’t I start remembering that people have hearts?
I’ve been told that mine is sorta like a calendar… full of red marks.
Yes, it’s true about all those celebrities we love to shame
We’re just like them, dearest friends! (Yah I know, that was so lame…)
Next time you stop at a store and see someone with a weird hairdo
Take a chill pill and think of the Virgin Mary and Christ, will you?
(And – by the way, I don’t even like guys with spikes,
I homeschool too –and I can’t swim either…yeah I know… yikes.)