Reaching for the Sun

Submitted by Damaris Ann on Fri, 10/05/2018 - 19:15

Twice were my love and my honor both spurned
And again, thrice my heart and soul did yearn
But my thoughts and God’s are not at all one
But twain. I reach my hands up for the sun
While solemn moon is offered in its place
And stars glorify the tears on my face
And while I wait for daylight to reach down
I radiate from within. I drown
The thought that I may never know of love
And I look again; I look up above
At the stars and the moon; I see their space
And in between moments I find the grace
To realize the sun will come very soon
So pine away I’ll not, nor will I swoon
For light from within is more than plenty
One moon is better than suns a’twenty
For time has its place
And stars their own space
While all shine together some can’t be seen
But that is for God to know, as He deems
That He will do. And as hard as it seems
I will be patient and joyful. For me
It is left to have faith, secure and true
And to pine? No, not even after you

Author's age when written
20
Genre
Poetry
Tags
hope
faith
Disappointment
Metaphors
Notes

Working on my metaphors. :)

Comments

Sarah Bethany

Wed, 10/17/2018 - 01:46

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WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA. I think this is your best poem yet!!! This is very experimental-- not just 'for you', but experimental in general! I love it. I'm blown away at the skill and instinct in parts, and the clever places where you throw me, stop me, then pull me back in, but all within tempo and rhythm!! (I LOVE being taken for rides like that!) Like this period mid-line: "That He will do. And as hard as it seems..." But you do it in 5 other great places, too. I read the poem multiple times and each time I got an incredibly strong reacftion in two spots - "I radiate from within. I drown" - you just hit such a right note of rhythm, beat, and meaning there that I get one of my rare experiences where my soul kind of feels like it's leaving the top of my skull (in reaction to beauty or being blown away by art or nature). And the second place is the ending- I just want to grin and fist pump and say YOU GO GIRL at the triumph. It's again masterful rhythm, somehow quiet but powerful as a trumpet.
I think there's an it's that should be 'its' in there....
Oh, I also like the repeat of 'look' here" 'And I look again; I look up above'.
Anyway, love this and love YOU!

Damaris Ann

Thu, 10/18/2018 - 20:14

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You made my day, and then you made the next day for me, too. I LOVE YOU SO FREAKING MUCH!!! Thank you for taking the time to explain to me how my poem made you feel. Honestly you’ve given me the highest artistic praise I’ve ever received, and I just love you for it (and more). So, from the bottom of my heart, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!!!

I don’t thrive off of chaos: chaos thrives off of me.

Libby

Sun, 10/21/2018 - 04:19

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Damaris, this was so beautiful. I agree that you line "I radiate from within. I drown" just was perfect. It felt like you wrote from the heart and I think that gives the whole thing just a whole new dimension that's so sweet and sorrowful, yet hopeful.

Damaris Ann

Sun, 10/21/2018 - 05:25

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Thank you so much, sweet Libby!! I always appreciate your comments so much. :) And I promise I haven’t forgotten about you!! I’ve been away from home a lot, but I promise I’ll get around to writing you eventually. ;) Love you!!

I don’t thrive off of chaos: chaos thrives off of me.

Heather Jones

Thu, 10/25/2018 - 02:33

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I really enjoyed this. Like, really. My favorite line is probably
"... For me
It is left to have faith, secure and true
And to pine? No not even after you"

That was a really good clencher for your poem. This is a great piece. <3 And very heartfelt.

“planting seeds inevitably changes my feelings about rain.” —luci shaw.
psalm 84:10 esv.