Immortal

Submitted by Damaris Ann on Thu, 01/05/2017 - 04:21

When I look at the sky, and see ten thousand stars
Cradled in Your loving hand,
I take a moment and ponder on the wonders
And the vastness of Your Land.
Your majesty and Your infinite Being
Of holiness and glory;
Your gentle eyes on me that are always seeing
My poor and finite story.
Poor and finite no more: for You have done a work;
You have made me immortal;
As Holy King You lift me gently when I shirk,
You've opened Heaven's portal.

Author's age when written
18
Genre
Poetry
Tags
life
God
stars
night
Notes

An oldie I decided to pull up and share. Star-gazing will never grow old. :)

Comments

Madalyn Clare

Wed, 01/11/2017 - 02:57

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Hehe I'm known to be a borderline fangirl sometimes, so... yeah. I loved this poem, if it weren't all that obvious yet. Damaris, all of your posts make me so happy I can't contain it, ok? You're so good at writing fiction AND poetry, and they all inspire me! If that's not weird. Reading your posts are so much fun!

Introverts unite!
Separately!
From the comfort of your own homes!

Sarah Bethany

Thu, 01/05/2017 - 23:11

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This was so beautiful and soothing. I felt myself standing underneath ten thousand stars and rather than an overwhelming, piercing feeling, you surprised with language such as "cradled" and "gentle", and I just thought that was so, so beautiful and unexpected. It made me experience a sense of intimacy when I tend to experience a sense of vastness while stargazing. So thank you for that alternative experience and for putting me in that place! (Because "gentle" stood out so much to me, it jumped out to me slightly that you used it a second time. Maybe consider another word? -- Though I know authors sometimes repeat words, especially in poetry, for lilting emphasis. So maybe that was what you were going for, and I just missed it because I paid such attention to the initial "gentle", haha.)

Hannah D.

Mon, 01/09/2017 - 04:35

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Lovely poem! I love stargazing. : ) The poem itself but especially the intro reminds me of the song "Majesty and Glory," and the Psalm that was based on it (8 I think?) Ditto to Sarah Bethany on the delightful surprise of "gentle" and the coziness of the poem versus the smallness we can feel when stargazing. One little thing - "infinitesimal" means "immeasurably or incalculably small." I think you were going for the opposite meaning there! : )

Damaris Ann

Sat, 01/14/2017 - 04:48

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Thank you all so much for your sweet comments. I'm so behind in all things Apricotpie, and I'm sorry that I've taken forever to respond. I promise, I've read your comments as hey we're posted, and treasured each and every one (even the fangirling, Nerys :)). <3
Sarah Bethany: I hadn't even though about the fact that I used "gentle" twice...looking at it, I think I will take it out.
Hannah: oh my! Yes, I was going for "infinite", so I suppose I will be changing that line, as well. :) thank you very much for pointing that out. :)
You ladies are all so special, and I'm thankful for each one of you. :) thanks again for commenting.

I don’t thrive off of chaos: chaos thrives off of me.