"Do you love me?"
"Why do you ask?"
"Stop it. You're silly. Do you?"
"Of course. You know I do."
"I just like to make sure you still do."
"Why would I ever stop?"
She chewed on the inside of her lip before responding.
"What if...I become ugly or sick?"
"Silly. I didn't marry you for your good looks or your health. I married you for your heart and soul."
"What if we can't have children?"
"I didn't marry you for children, either. I married you because you've got God as your King. Good enough?"
"Yes."
Melissa sighed a happy sigh and leaned her head on Mark's shoulder.
"I'm so glad. Sometimes I worry-"
"That's silly. You shouldn't worry. We know Who holds tomorrow."
"This is true. I wish I could remember that as easily as you seem to. Sometimes I feel so, I don't know, bogged down in my spirit."
"You have to trust Him, Mel. You have to trust me, too."
The look of almost sorrowful gravity in Mark's eyes pained her. She burrowed her face in his neck as she whispered to him.
"Dear heart, I do."
He kissed her forehead. All was well.
***Seven months later***
"Mark."
Silence.
"Mark!!"
Quiet stirring.
"What is it, Mel?"
"This doesn't feel right."
Mark snapped to attention.
"What? What doesn't feel right?"
Moans.
"This. This pain. This isn't what Braxton Hicks are supposed to feel like. It hurts more....I think I'm bleeding, Mark!"
Mark leapt out of bed and rushed into his clothes.
He pulled the car around and ran back inside for Melissa. By now she was moaning almost constantly, in too much pain to move.
He carried her. He carried her to the car, and in the hospital he never left her side.
***
She blinked at the bright lights.
"Mark?"
Softly.
"Yes, darling?"
"Is, did the..."
Whispers.
"Yes, darling."
Quiet tears slipped through closed and weary eyelids.
"Mark?"
"Yes?"
Quietly.
"Do you still love me?"
"Darling, I will always love you. Trust Him. Trust me."
Quiet, breathless sobs could not be held back. And then,
"My darling, I do."
I didn't have anything to post this week so sat down and just started writing. This happened. Let me know what you think. Critiques are welcomed and appreciated.
Comments
Aww thank you! Glad you liked
Aww thank you! Glad you liked it. :)
I don’t thrive off of chaos: chaos thrives off of me.
Very neat, that this one was
Very neat, that this one was almost entirely in conversation. Dialogue is so much fun to write! It's my favorite part of any story. This was a great exercise in conversation, very nicely done. If you wanted, you could expand this a little with more conversation between the two characters--different daily moments, maybe, like cooking dinner together or shopping for baby supplies--and the ending would hit a lot harder. Although it's sad, it doesn't pack as much of a punch because we haven't really gotten a chance to know the characters. I think just a few more conversations added could make this a lot deeper! You've got a great start, though!
Thank you!
That's very true... I'll think about some scenes to add on. :)
Your comments are so sweet and helpful. Thank you so much!
I don’t thrive off of chaos: chaos thrives off of me.
:)
The opening in particular made me think of "Do You Love Me?" from Fiddler on the Roof. ;)
My only critique is how he says "silly," since fears like that are not silly, and while I get that he's trying to calm her fears, replying with a "silly" implies brushing it off and not taking it seriously... at least to me.
Hmm.
Good point. I meant it as a nickname, but it is misleading. I'll think about a way to possibly change it. Thanks for your lovely comment. :)
I don’t thrive off of chaos: chaos thrives off of me.
Next week a new and improved
Next week a new and improved edition will appear!!
I don’t thrive off of chaos: chaos thrives off of me.
:)
This is really sweet!!! I love it :)
"Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad." ~ Anonymous