June 24th, 2009
Dear Journal,
Mom just told me that she would buy me a phone since I'm gonna be babysitting a lot. She said it would be good to have it, just in case something happens and I need her. I'm glad because people make me nervous. Even nice people. I guess it's because there have been so many bad people in my life, even the ones that started out as nice people. I feel safer when I'm at home alone than I did when someone had to stay with me while Mom worked. I never told Mom because I don't want her to feel bad. She can't help it.
Kennedy

June 25th, 2009
Dear Journal,
Yesterday I was feeling pretty sad because Kelly had asked if I would spend the day with her but right before I went over she stopped by and said something had come up and she couldn't have me over anymore. A few minutes later I saw her and her mom drive by with Courtney. I was pretty hurt and upset but this morning Kelly came by and apologized. Apparently Courtney's dad had a heart attach. It was pretty serious. So the Grays volunteered to bring Courtney to the hospital to be with her mom while her dad was being taken care of. I feel so bad for Courtney. I'm praying that her dad gets better soon.
Kennedy

June 27th, 2009
Dear Journal,
It's late so I'm gonna keep it short. I spent the day with Courtney. She was really shaken up over what happened to her dad. He's going to be okay now but she says she was so scared at first. He's only 39 and perfectly healthy, and then in the blink of an eye he was almost dead. I guess Courtney is realizing that life is short and that we need to be living a life that will please God. We never know when our time here is done. She and I had a good talk and she says that she wants to be a better person. We prayed and cried together and I think we are gonna be good friends from now on.
I really like Courtney a lot. I never realized what a sweet heart she has.
Kennedy

June 28th, 2009
Dear Journal,
Today Courtney sat next to me in Church. I could tell that she was paying close attention to the sermon. Right now the pastor is in the middle of a study on biblical womanhood, and today's sermon was the second part of the marriage/courtship part of it. Courtney and I talked about it at lunch. She seemed really convicted about the sermon. The pastor stressed the point that you shouldn't be in a relationship unless the end goal was marriage. I hadn't ever thought about it before. I know that most people date. I had never dated because nobody wanted to date me, but I decided today that I wouldn't date, at least not until I am old enough to get married, and then I want it to be a "serious" relationship with marriage as the goal. I talked it over with Mom just now and she agrees.
I wonder if Mom will ever get married. I wouldn't mind having a dad. But I think that Mom is scared. She was hurt so much by my real dad. And also she doesn't really know any guys.
Kennedy

June 30th, 2009
Dear journal,
Courtney was just over here (it's after dinner). She was crying. She told Josh today that she wouldn't be his girlfriend anymore because of her recent convictions, but that she still wanted to be friends. He told her he didn't want to talk to her ever again. I think he's a snob and a spoiled brat. I told Courtney that it must have been God's way of telling her that Josh was not the right guy for her. We prayed together again and she said she felt better and went home. I hope she'll be okay.
Kennedy