How to Elegantly Drink from a Soda Can...

Submitted by Anonymous on Thu, 12/11/2008 - 18:28

I have often wondered how I should elegantly stand, but this is not about how you should stand.
I have also wondered how to politely explain that somebody is incorrect, but this is not about how to prove someone wrong.
What this is about, though it has no meaning or value to most people, it’s about how to drink from a soda can with grace and etiquette.
I have discovered that if you stick your pinky up while taking a large gulp you’ll look stupid, and people will laugh at you.
I have also discovered that if you hold the can with both hands you will look like a weak child with not enough strength to hold it with one hand, and people will laugh and try to avoid you.
If you hold it above your face and pour it out trying to make it into your mouth, you will surely miss, and people will laugh, avoid you, and call you names, like Sticky-Cheek or Sticky pad.
I have discovered nothing elegant about drinking from a soda can. I am sorry for your disappointment. My only suggestion to you is that you hold it with one hand, and look stupid. But, if you are just plain difficult and don’t want to do that, just get a soda bottle and be done with it!
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I couldn't help it. I had to post this! =]

Author's age when written
9
Genre
Essay

Comments

Anna

Fri, 12/12/2008 - 18:08

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Personally, my pinky goes up without my thinking about it. I think I was supposed to be born in high-society, but accidentally ended up in the 21st century. :D
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"The world will likely end tomorrow - unless postponed for rain." -Tamerah (on her blog)

I have hated the words and I have loved them, and I hope I have made them right. --The Book Thief

Clare Marie

Fri, 12/12/2008 - 18:21

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I do that too!! It's quite strange. :D
I like this essay, Emily; it's really funny!
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"I've got a jar of dirt!" -Jack Sparrow

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"I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve." -Bilbo Baggins [The Lord of the Rings]

Anonymous

Fri, 12/12/2008 - 19:16

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lol. thx!

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The electric device I can’t live without... is a toaster!
-Joe Jonas

Keri

Fri, 12/12/2008 - 21:28

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My pinky pops up too. All my friends tease me about it. I trained myself not to when people are around but I still bring up around family.
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If you are offended by the truth-- that's how you know you don't have it! -Brad Stein

Anonymous

Fri, 12/12/2008 - 21:33

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I hadn't noticed it before you guys started talking about it, but I was drinking Dr. Pepper a little while ago and I saw my pinky go up and I almost choked freaking out. Ha, ha! Then I really looked weird! =]

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The electric device I can’t live without... is a toaster!
-Joe Jonas

Ariel

Fri, 12/12/2008 - 22:50

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I know exactly what you are talking about. My finger does that too. Especially when I'm drinking tea or hot coco. I know this is so wierd, but I had to add this to my comment- My big toe sometimes pops up like that too. Usually when I'm doing stretches and things:):):) That was so random, sorry!
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"I already know an awful lot of people and until one of them dies I couldn't possibly meet anyone else." Audrey Hepburn (Charade)

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"To produce a mighty book, you must choose a mighty theme. No great and enduring volume can ever be written on the flea, though many there be that have tried it." -- Herman Melville

Anonymous (not verified)

Fri, 12/12/2008 - 23:26

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my pinky stays down. my friend said that girls drink with their pinkies up cuz we're girls, or somethin'. lol. he's pretty funny, and when he was showin how girls drink, whether from a can or not, he was bein' crazy. lol.
as for covering your mouth when eating, my sister does that, or did, whenever her boyfriend was eating with us. (she's married now, and i haven't seen her do it in awhile.) i only cover my mouth when i shove a huge bite in, and start laughing. lol.
~Paula
~death smiles at everyone, Marines smile back~
*all men are created equal, then some became Marines* (some fav Marine Corps bumber stickers) gotta love the Marines!!

Heather

Sat, 12/13/2008 - 00:22

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LOL, I was obviously not born to be in high society b/c my pinky doesn't do that! :0)
And I cover my mouth only when I'm laughing while eating, which happens a lot b/c my family and my friends are all hilarious.
And Paula I love your Marine quotes...I'm gonna send them to one of my good friends who's planning to be a Marine. He'll love 'em.
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The leprechauns made me do it!!

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And now our hearts will beat in time/You say I am yours and you are mine...
Michelle Tumes, "There Goes My Love"

Anonymous

Sun, 01/25/2009 - 02:25

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I like your comment, hannah! =]

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"What if I'm not the good guy? What if I'm
the bad guy?"
-Edward Cullen [Twilight]

E

Sun, 12/14/2008 - 20:06

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I think that my pinkie goes up too....I don't really pay much attention! I laughed when I read this, it's really funny!

"Every recording studio needs a rubber chicken." -Joe Jonas

"My red hair gives me superpowers!"-some person's t-shirt

"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond