soul level

Submitted by E on Mon, 12/09/2019 - 16:57

natural is
your lips on my forehead
the reverberation of your voice
in my body
your eyes when we confess
that we have never felt so at ease
my fingers transcend the air between us
make it disappear

we ask if it is wrong to feel this way
but right is
the curve of your jaw and
the way you look at me
my soul rises from its
quaking foundation
to find yours

Author's age when written
23
Genre
Notes

Time for my yearly post!

Comments

HOORAY FOR THE ANNUAL POST! I clicked on this so fast it gave the computer whiplash.

This is a lovely, delicate, evocative piece. I love the language used--it's simple, but the word choice is so specific; each of them needs to be here, and each feels right in its place. I really like your line breaks here, too--it's wonderfully paced.

Beautiful & breathtaking job!

Favorite moments:

the reverberation of your voice
in my body
^ so much intimacy conveyed here, and you put it in terms that allowed me to access that same feeling

my fingers transcend the air between us

my soul rises from its
quaking foundation
to find yours

^ so much about this, too. the images of souls meeting--timeless, but contextualized here in a really beautiful way. I love the use of "quaking", too;
the second-person, again, adds to the immediacy and intimacy of the piece.

Reading new work from you is always a joy!! I hope you're doing well.