you said
I believe in rainy days
saturn's rays
and mazes that take a heartbreak
to get through
I said
that's untrue
I've seen you
pledging, openly loving
or was it
lovingly open?
either/or, you replied your hand
a white-slab slice through
our galaxy,
either way, you drew
division in a million ways, you knew
religion
for another
and I didn't
all the same you said with
sugar-coated teeth, a beam
glaringly at me and where went the gap
where our friendship used to sleep?
it was the first time I needed to miss it.
Comments
Somehow I feel so sorrowful
Somehow I feel so sorrowful when I read this. Like something was lost forever. I'm not sure exactly if that's what you wanted me to take away, but its vagueness, I think, added to the deep beauty. This part was my favorite:
all the same you said with
sugar-coated teeth, a beam
glaringly at me and where went the gap
where our friendship used to sleep?
it was the first time I needed to miss it.
Days, rays, and mazes-- your
Days, rays, and mazes-- your ear for sound is so fine-tuned and you put dazzling images in my mind. "Where went the gap where our friendship used to sleep?" That line made me gasp, with its metaphysical beauty.
I love this,
I love this, Maddie--especially "I believe in rainy days/saturn's rays"
"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond
This has the feel of a really
This has the feel of a really deep, coming-of-age song. I like it.
I don’t thrive off of chaos: chaos thrives off of me.