Melatonin

Submitted by Madeline on Fri, 11/17/2017 - 14:05

I call him my azure-eyed
melatonin-induced
dream
His thick metallic blood threads black ice
into my sleep
It's silver and it's priceless
and I'll wear it
as a ring
It fractures from my pillow
into cupid darts
of sleet
And come masticated morning he
melts opaque
at my feet.

I linger in the memory with each frigid breath I breathe.

Author's age when written
20
Genre

Comments

Oh, WOW, the rhyming and rhythm in this is PRISTINE. It's so obvious you write music because you have an ear for those two things. I completely crowed on the inside at the line breaks -- they really work, especially "as a ring", "of sleet", "at my feet". I was so excited by the way you wrote this. (The language itself is beautiful, too.)

This is great, Maddie! "I call him my azure-eyed/melatonin-induced/dream" caught my attention right off the bat! Love seeing posts from you!

"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond