Power forms in the palm of patience,
Waiting so long, been waiting so long
To tame a black beaked beast,
Perched upon golden gossamer sleeves
Shielding ivory skin.
Ebony curls catch like brambles,
Fingers trepidatiously tangled
Embedded briars in dark thumbs,
Golden rose bushes wielding thorns
Catching hold of black bound wings
Beat beat beat
No hope.
There is power in the smile of a siren,
A victim turned temptress
Enough wrecked ships leave impressions upon the broken,
Song in the glint of an eye
A gale force wind in the laugh that rings out.
Second chance charisma,
like overwhelming cologne
The stuff that clings to finery like desperation,
Leaves golden laughter trilling into vehicles already filled with music
An irony too ironic to take too seriously.
This probably needs some editing as it was a 2am speed write, one of those instant inspiration things! Let me know what you think pleeeease!!! P.s. This might make a little more sense if you skimmed my last poem...
Comments
Don't even!!!! You are so
Don't even!!!! You are so totally not a terrible friend, you know how I don't read your poetry right as it comes out all the time! It's the same thing, no big deal! I'm so glad you liked this poem though! And I agree about it needing a name change, not sure what to change it too... But yeah... Hmm?
Thank you for all your catch up comments, I love reading all of them and all the caring thought you put into them!
"Here's looking at you, Kid"
---
Write On!
Goodness Kass!
Goodness Kass! How on earth did I miss this gem? I have re-read this three times the morning and I am still in awe! This is totally one of my absolute favorites of yours! I love it so very much! I can't wait until you make a series page with all of these lovely little pieces, so I can just go to one place when I want to be reminded what exceptional poetry looks like! (Seriously, I would rather read yours and others poetry here on AP then most what is out there published any day! You guys are phenomenal!)
Blessings to you!
"Be an example to all believers in what you say, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity." 1 Timothy 4:12
Wow, thank you so much Wings
Wow, thank you so much Wings of Eternity!!! Your comment makes me glow with pride! I'm so glad you liked it and I can't wait to create a series page also! I want to make sure I've written all I want to write on the subject (run the inspiration dry) before I put it all together ;)
I am so grateful for your readership, and I have to say I absolutely adore your poetry (much prefer it to anything on the shelves of a Barnes and Noble). And I pray for your peace through all the tumult you've been going through these past couple months.
"Here's looking at you, Kid"
---
Write On!
Oh my, WHY am I such a
Oh my, WHY am I such a terrible friend?! I'm just catching up on this nooooow! There is no excuse, I'm sorry!
I remember reading this and being awestruck by the sheer majesty of the wording. It's like acrobatics, honestly--all these exquisite phrases and adjectives and pairings are leaping out at me, somersaulting and twisting through these lines. You have so much alliteration in this, it's insane. I don't know if that was intentional, (I mean, it almost has to--it's too great of a coincidence if not) but it added an absorbing staccato element, and I really enjoyed that. Some favorite examples:
Power forms in the palm of patience
To tame a black beaked beast,
Fingers trepidatiously tangled
Catching hold of black bound wings
Beat beat beat
Second chance charisma,
like overwhelming cologne
I mean, and those are just a few examples. It's throughout the entire piece, which is so fantastic. And I have to say, this by far was my favorite line. It's such an original simile: Ebony curls catch like brambles. It demands my attention every time I read this.
This is wonderful! It fits in seamlessly with the whole rest of the series. The only suggestion I have might be the title. It almost doesn't fit with the others, although the body of the poem does. I'm not sure of an alternative, but I feel like I was expecting something in a different vein based on the title, when in reality it's another incredible addition!